


Serve and Protect

by Karfraegh18



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-11
Updated: 2009-10-10
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:05:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karfraegh18/pseuds/Karfraegh18
Summary: Jensen Ackles is an ex Navy Pilot and bodyguard to the Padalecki Children.  Jared, Allie and Ben need him more than they thought as they struggle to survive. Can Jensen overcome his past to forge a path to his future and save them all?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

At 24 Jensen Ackles had seen a lot of the world. From the Middle East to southern Europe, Australia to Canada, he had flown mission after mission for his country, given eight years, man and boy, eight years of his dedication, his life, his soul. He had fought for what he believed in, denied his own self for too long and crashed and burned in his own life a long time before he had crashed and burned for real.

 

When he was discharged from hospital they told him he wouldn’t be able to fly the jets he loved, told him that the millions they had invested in him were gone, because of blurred vision in one eye and the PTSD they were sure he was suffering. There were no arguments, no discussion, he had two choices; move to a desk job or move out.

 

There were only certain times in his life when he felt truly free, when the ground was far beneath him and the sky stretched endlessly around him, and to lose that one thing, that one thing more important to him than breathing was unthinkable.

 

Moving out was really the only option; civilian air authorities had rules, but they weren’t as 100% as the Navy. They didn’t dare mention PTSD, they only briefly commented on the peripheral vision problems and his civilian license was issued.

 

Jensen Ross Ackles, civilian, hung his dress uniform away at his parent’s house and pulled on his dark suit, shirt and tie. He wasn’t going to break down, wasn’t going to give in to the overwhelming urge to lay down and cry and sob and curse the gods, he wouldn’t give himself that luxury, he had a new life to live.

 

“Mr Ackles?” The tall greying man in the jeans and sweatshirt indicated the seat next to him on the couch, Jensen hesitated. He had assumed the client would want him to stand, or at least sit, a formal distance away. He felt dangerously off safe ground and was unconsciously holding himself stiff and unyielding. His eyes guarded and his expression carefully blank. All of this the client could see.

 

“Matthew Padalecki” the client said relaxing back in the seat and holding out a hand. Jensen gripped the hand firmly holding his gaze firmly on the older man. In his other hand Jensen held a file of papers; his resume, his commendations, his testimonials, his school qualifications for what they were worth; confidently he held them to Matthew and waited for the older man to read them. To his consternation he simply passed them behind him and slid them onto a table. Jensen frowned and Matthew saw the frown.

 

“I’m assuming all the stuff in there is good?” he gestured back at the file. Jensen held his gaze

 

“Yes sir,” he said firmly.

 

“Matthew, or failing that Mr Padalecki,” the older man replied with a command in his voice. Jensen sighed inwardly.

 

“Mr Padalecki.” he repeated as if testing the name.

 

“Good. So, what I’m interested in is a pilot for my family jet,” Jensen nodded “I am assuming you have all the relevant qualifications and experience to do that and that, in the folder, will sit everything testifying to that fact.”

 

“Yes s- Mr Padalecki.”

 

“And you are 24.”

 

“Yes.”

 

”I don’t just need a pilot Jensen, this was explained to you I assume.” Again Jensen nodded, it had all been fully explained.

 

“I need someone who can act as security for my children. We have a lot of people who are keen on acquiring money from us and would have no second thoughts to hurt my children to get it. The kid's full details would be supplied to you should you decide to take the position. My wife and I travel a lot with the work we do, our charitable foundation has projects all over the world, sometimes we have the children with us, sometimes they remain here for schooling. Should we need to fly and the children are accompanying us then you would pilot us, however if they remain here you remain here, the children would be your priority.”

 

“I am assuming you have other security measures in place?”

 

”The usual, all would be explained should you accept the position.” Matthew stood. “I would like you to meet the children before you finally decide, would you be prepared to do that?”

 

“Yes,” Jensen said simply. He had a nephew - he could do children.

 

“Follow me,” the older man opened the office door, walked by the secretary who smiled reassuringly at Jensen, and moved at a quick pace along a maze of corridors until he reached a door marked ‘Private’. Glancing at Jensen, his prospective employer keyed in the code on the door panel and they moved into a large room. A tall graceful woman stood and moved towards them, her hand extended.

 

“Jensen.” she said, her voice soft and with a southern lilt.

 

“Ma’am,” he replied, his own southern manners to the fore.

 

“This is my wife, Michaela,” Matthew said, “Ben, Allie,” two heads popped up from a couch and looked round. Ben, the youngest, if Jensen remembered rightly immediately launched himself at his dad.

 

“I beat Allie Dad, I beat her sooooo bad.”

 

“Brat” Allie said affectionately as she walked over a little more sedately than her brother “I let him win” she confided in her dad before cuddling into him. Ben made a noise that sounded suspiciously like _yeahrightinyourdreams_ , and then started jumping on the spot.

 

“Pizza dad, you said pizza for lunch.”

 

“And we will Ben, I promised you. Ben, Allie, this is Jensen, he is here for the pilot’s job,” Allie took a step back, casting an appraising 16 year olds eye, over the gorgeous hunk of male that had walked in the door.

 

“A pilot,” she said, being a pilot added extra points in her world

 

“Dad says you were in the Navy, like Top Gun.” Ben said excitedly.

 

Jensen was bemused this small child knew Top Gun? but went with the flow “Yeah, the Navy.” he said simply

 

“Where’s Jared?” Matthew asked

 

“In his room.” Allie offered shrugging

 

“In his room, again?”

 

”Hey emo boy needs his space,” she pouted, and pulled Ben back to the game they had been playing, casting a look over her shoulder at six foot plus of ex navy pilot, wondering exactly how old he was, and whether her being 16 was just too young.

 

Matthew knocked on a door to the right of the main door and a muffled hang on could be heard through the door. Matthew hesitated for a few moments and then pushed in regardless.

 

“Dad.” A tall, very tall, young man was slumped at a computer closing down screens rapidly.

 

“Jared, this is Jensen.” Jared blinked up at the two men owlishly, a blush stealing it’s way over feline features, his hazel eyes wide and suspiciously moist looking, like he had been crying.

 

“Hi Jensen.” he said simply, “Hi dad.”

 

“What you working on Jay?”

 

“School stuff, just some school stuff,” Jensen laughed inwardly, the owlish expression, the rapidly closed screens, had to be porn … he knew the signs. He just couldn’t explain the wet eyes though. Interesting.

 

“OK Jay, have fun.”

 

He walked out, Jensen following, and closed the door behind him. Looking at Jensen and smirking.

 

“Boys,” he pointed out, like there wasn’t only 4 years between his son and the man that stood before him. Jensen didn’t say a word.

 

They made their way back to the office sitting on the same couch and facing each other.

 

“I must say I am really impressed with what I have been told about you and I want to offer you the job based on the salary and the expectations suggested to you at the pre-interview,” He smiled “I am really hoping you will say yes.”

 

“Yes, I would like to accept the job.” no hesitation, it was perfect.

 

“Good, starting on Saturday.”

 

”This Saturday?”

 

”Is that going to be a problem?” Jensen imagined his sterile empty apartment and the stretch of empty days in front of him.

 

“No, no problem.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared waited a good five minutes before he opened up the windows he had closed including the email. When he had opened it a while back he had been shocked, horrified, hurt, sad. It had made him cry. It was full of hate and raw passion and the open threat had scared him.

 

Now as he looked at it again he was just resigned.

 

_To: Jayman886@googlemail.com_

_From: watchinya641@hotmail.com_

_This is a warning you sick fuck._

_Stay the fuck away from my brother you fucking faggot._

_You touch him, talk to him or even fucking think about him and I will track you down and I will personally kill your fucking faggot ass._

_Don’t think money will keep you safe._

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jensen’s first day consisted mostly of meeting the crew of the plane that he would be piloting for the Padaleckis. It was nothing he didn’t already know. It was bigger, heavier, slower, but it took off, it landed and it held Jensen in the arms of the gods, his head clear, and the clouds like cushions all about him. He felt peace and quiet at the controls of the plane and touching down carefully he knew he could be happy for a while with the Padaleckis, just until he sorted his head out.

 

He didn’t feel like he was letting the family down. For the short time they would have him he would use every ounce of navy training he had had to keep the Padalecki children safe.

 

That started with getting to know the children better and that meant actually talking to them. The driver dropped him back at the Padalecki home and he wondered up to the room he had been assigned grabbing a quick shower and dressing in jeans and a clean T-shirt. First on his list Ben, possibly the hardest one of all.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Benjamin Padalecki, Ben, aged 10, nearly 11, and so very much like Keiran it almost hurt to look at him. Jensen forced back the memories of his little brother, knowing that one more emotional overload may just trigger a full meltdown.

 

“Ben,” he asked, crouching down next to the small boy who had a spectacular Star Wars layout spread in front of him.

 

“Uh huh?”

 

“Hey Ben can we talk?”

 

"Uh huh, wanna play Star Wars” _No. No I don’t, I don’t want to associate you with Keiran in any way._

 

“Yeah, sure," he said instead.

 

“You can be Obi Wan,” he said handing Jensen the play figure. Jensen was pleased to see it was the Ewan McGregor version and not Alec Guiness, he wasn’t that old yet.

 

“OK, so Ben, do you have some friends over sometimes?” he asked gently.

 

One down two to go

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Allison Padalecki, aged 16, Allie, and quite obviously taken by Justin Timberlake if her room was anything to go by.

 

He had knocked on her door and entered after a pause and a shouted come in. He carefully sat himself on the edge of her bed.

 

“Hey Jensen,” she said from her desk in the corner of the room. “Do you like Justin Timberlake?”

 

”Who doesn’t” Jensen felt that was a safe answer

 

“I’m like president of the schools Justin fanclub, wanna see?” _No. Honestly I don’t want to see Justin Timberlake and his hair..._

 

“Sure Allie. So Allie do you have a boyfriend?”

 

Two down, one to go

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared Padalecki, aged 19, JT although he hated it, and owner of the tidiest room Jensen had ever seen.

 

Jared smiled and gestured him in.

 

“Hey dude,” he said brightly.

 

“Hey” Jensen returned, looking into hazel eyes.

 

“So, I’m like talking to you all and getting a feel for how I can best fit in here.”

 

”You spoken to Ben and Allie?”

 

“Yeah, nice kids.”

 

“Yeah, Ben is a real sweetie for a kid brother and Allie, despite being kinda hormonal, is OK.”

 

“You seem close.”

 

“Yeah we are,” Jared smiled wistfully.

 

“I’ve said the same thing to your brother and sister, I just wanted to say one thing to you. I am gonna try to fit in like a big brother whilst we are on down time, but at the end of the day I am here as backup if anything happens.”

 

“Do you have like mad ninja skills?” Jared asked grinning, not at all offended that Jensen might usurp his position as big brother.

 

“Something like that. Anyways you need me in here and I’ll be around, but outside I’ll be stuck to all three of you like glue.” Jensen rose to leave and had almost reached the door when Jared called his name, Jensen turned, quirking his eyebrow.

 

“Can I show you something man, as a … as .. as a brother” _Oh shit... not porn... please not porn..._

 

“Course you can.” Jensen forced out. Crossing to his computer Jared pressed the power button and the screen flickered to life, _shit it is porn, how the fuck am I gonna explain that …_

 

“Here” Jared said “I have had these emails, and I’m not sure what to do with them.” the biggest sigh of relief echoed silently in Jensen’s head. This soon turned to disgust as he read the emails.

 

“Did you reply to any of them?”

 

”No dude, I wouldn’t, I don’t know who they are from or why they are being sent to me.”

 

“I’ll look into it.” Jensen said confidently and Jared’s face visibly relaxed into a smile.

 

“OK… OK.” Jensen forwarded the emails to his own private account and stood.

 

“I suggest you delete them and try and forget them.”

 

“I .. I cant forget them … they say something about a brother … and it kinda scares me … cos I didn’t think anyone knew.”

 

”Knew?”

 

“About me being gay” Jensen paused at this, OK this wasn't in the dossier.

 

“So who may know?”

 

“Mom, dad, Allie, Ben, and like my two best friends at school, I mean it’s not public knowledge, it’s kinda new to me…” Jared’s voice had started to tremble slightly and Jensen was good at picking up the signs. Resting a hand on Jared’s arm to reassure him he thought about what to say.

 

“Whoever you want to be, what ever you are now, no one had the right to send this sort of shit. I will find out who sent it and I will keep you informed and we will, as a team, decide how to deal with it. OK?”

 

“OK Jensen, thanks.”

 

“No worries.”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Six months later

 

“Jared get back in the damn seat, strap yourself in.” Jensen was fighting the controls of the Cessna, his muscles straining with the effort, his head focused on keeping them alive.

 

“Jensen please, I can help?”

 

“I mean it … get back, look after Ben, I don’t need your help.” Jared fell sideways as the plane gave another sickening judder, lurching to one side. Jensen couldn’t let go of the controls to help Jared up, just shouted over the screaming engines, “Now Jared, now,” he didn’t even see Jared leave, just hoped with all his heart that he had and that he was safe.

 

“Mayday, Mayday this is PD754, we have lost an engine, location, _shit no readings what the fuck_ , one hour out of Panama City, South South West”

 

“Mayday, Mayday this is PD754, we have lost an engine, location one hour out of Panama City, South South West”

 

“Mayday, Mayday this is PD754, we have lost an engine, location one hour out of Panama …


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: This is one of my older stories, please forgive punctuation... xxx  


* * *

Silence

 

No screaming.

 

No engines.

 

No plane tearing itself apart around him.

 

No fire.

 

Just silence.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jensen lifted his head as disorientation cleared the way for his fight reflex to kick in. Carefully he flexed limbs and rolled his neck. Despite the angle of descent, an angle almost guaranteed to kill the pilot in normal circumstances, he had somehow lived through the second crash of his life, mostly intact. 

 

His wrist ached and he imagined it was sprained, but, other than that, the only thing that worried him was the blood filling his left eye and running onto his cheek. On further inspection, as he lifted a hand and wiped it away, he realised some vision returned and he guessed the blood was from a head wound. Great.

 

Unbuckling himself from the harness he tried to move from the seat, horrified at how close the console was to his legs, buckled and crushed and millimetres from killing him. Every muscle in his body protested at the movement, but utterly determined, he managed to pull himself out from the mass of twisted metal that had been the cockpit. Only one thought on his mind, the passengers. The way through to the back was blocked by a distorted piece of metal, which he imagined was all that what was left of the door. 

 

He had to literally push his whole weight against the hinges of the door to get it to move enough to squeeze through the hole. What he saw inside the passenger area was horrifying but not unlike crashes he had seen before. It might look like hell, but his experienced eye saw the cabin mostly intact and all three passengers in seats.

 

Dropping to his knees next to a whimpering Ben he gently squeezed his shoulder. “You OK buddy?”

 

“Jen, what happened Jen?” silently Ben cried, fat tears rolled from puppy eyes and dropping off his nose

 

“We’re OK Ben, can you move your arms and legs for me …” Ben didn’t move “Ben, try and help me here buddy, can you try moving?” 

 

Jensen squeezed his arm again and Ben raised red eyes to Jensen nodding imperceptibly and wriggling carefully in his seat said in a small voice “M’kay”

 

“OK, stay here, I’ll be back in a minute,” carefully he picked his way across debris and reached Allie next, who just looked at him blinking.

 

“Allie babe, you OK? Any broken bones darlin?”

 

“No, I’m OK, Ben …”

 

”Ben is cool, just shaken up a bit.”

 

“Jensen, what about Jared?” Jared who was very quiet and deathly still, Jared who hadn’t quite managed to get his belt on, Jared who was bleeding from a shoulder wound. A clutch of fear hit Jensen in the chest, shit.

 

With a sense of urgency he forced his way over to the other side of the cabin, praying to the gods that his young charge would be OK.

 

“Jared,” he urged the unconscious boy, gently touching his other arm, looking carefully at the wound in his right arm. It looked to be fairly superficial but he would get to that in a minute. It was internal injuries and hurts that Jensen feared the most.

 

“Jared,” he urged again, his mouth very close to Jared’s ear. “Jared, wake up dude” he whispered. “Idiot why didn’t you stay in your seat, goddamn, Jared open you eyes.”

 

“Stop … shouting,” Jared’s voice was rough, but oh so welcome.

 

“Jesus Jared don’t do that to me … can you move?” Carefully he felt for injuries elsewhere.

 

“I’ll live” Jared smirked, wincing at the pain in his shoulder as Jensen poked his way around under his T-shirt. “Hey, if you wanted skin, you only had to ask … shit stop with the poking”

 

“Yeah, you’ll live, you with your hard bloody Padalecki head.” Gently he squeezed Jared’s hand. 

 

“Ben? Allie?” Jared tried to look round Jensen.

 

“They’re fine Jay, we’re all fine. I am so not sure how, but we are all fine. And now we need to get off of the plane” and try to decide what I have to do.

 

“Hey,” said Jared pulling Jensen towards him to mumble under his breath “at least you can’t leave now.”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Carefully and slowly they finally managed to get off the plane, each step Jensen took was tested and measured against what he knew of the schematics of the plane, and the Padalecki siblings followed his steps with utter concentration. Jared supporting and helping his little brother and sister.

 

Tight lipped, Jensen wouldn’t answer the questions that they threw at him; his standard reply was _when we get off the plane._


	3. Chapter 3

**Somewhere outside Panama City**

 

“You told me that the engine would fail not implode.”

 

“I said it was unpredictable.”

 

“I wanted them alive you idiot, not in a million pieces over the country.”

 

“They may have survived the crash, you only really need one of them.”

 

“I wanted all of them, Jesus.”

 

“I disabled the emergency beacon, and they fell off of radar long before they crashed.”

 

“So how the fuck do we track them down?”

 

“Using the tracker that the boy is wearing, it is showing clear as day, no real movement yet.”

 

“So track them down, all of them, I want them here now, because I’m telling you this for nothing, if we lose them, we lose all of our bargaining chips.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**The crash site**

 

“Jensen” Allie started as she hoisted the pack on to her back “I’m guessing you know which way north is?” Jensen looked up at what little sky he could see though the dark canopy of closed in treetops and grimaced.

 

“Yes, if I could actually see sky, then no worries, but I’m thinking we’ll use the plane as a start. We were flying south south west and coming in hot, we came in straight, so that makes North …” he spun away from the plane facing where the tail had been “thataway” he hoisted his own much larger pack on his back, grunting with the effort on his sprained wrist and faced the three of them, “we can get a better fix when we can see more sky.”

 

Jared was struggling with his pack on his injured shoulder, grimacing as he tried to pull uncooperative arms through the handles and settling it gently on the hurt area.

 

“Jared, that isn’t gonna work, that injury is raw and you push it like that and you’ll end up making it worse.”

 

”Jensen, I’ll pull my own weight,” he said stubbornly.

 

“Yeah Jared, I know you will, but …” He moved over to the younger man, easing the pack off of his wound and dropping it down to secure it to his waist tie. “…I hope that’ll work better” Jared sent a relieved smile at Jensen, there was no way he was going to admit to Jensen how painful the pack had been on his sore shoulder, the latent hero male in him deciding the pain was better than the pathetic.

 

Ben had the smallest pack but Jensen had said it was the most important and Ben’s face had split into a wide grin when Jensen said that.

 

“Can you take the flashlight Ben?” he had asked

 

“The flashlight?” Ben looked kinda worried, wasn’t the flashlight like the most important thing they had? Jensen had said it was, and Jensen was mostly right about everything from Star Wars to french toast.

 

“Yeah, the flashlight, I need someone who is gonna look after it and be able to hand it to me exactly when I need it.”

 

“OK,” Ben had said, proceeding to watch Jensen a lot, just in case Jensen needed the flashlight, cos if he did then Ben would be there, in like, minus a squillion seconds flat. 

 

Allie watched the interaction. Jensen could be so good as a father one day, pity he would never father kids with her. In fact if she was honest after what happened last week Jensen was obviously more into her older brother than he would be into her, but there you go. Maybe, just maybe, he would one day wake up, see her for the stunning beauty she was, and suddenly turn not gay overnight. Hmmm that sounded like a plan, a small hope she could cling on to.

 

Jensen needed to do one final thing. Reaching past Jared he pulled along the lock box that the Cessna had spit out of its destructive nosedive. Hoping against hope he dialed the correct code on the lid and miraculously, battered but still working, the lock box opened. 

 

It was kind of empty, not holding much. Some papers and their passports, a small cardboard box and a dull metallic black gun. With practised ease Jensen hefted the gun, opening the chamber and with the other hand flicked open the cardboard box revealing rows of bullets. Deftly he loaded the bullets, spun the chamber and locked it back into position, then clicked on the safety and tucked it in to his jeans, pocketing the other bullets. Only then did he notice the stillness of the rest of the group and he looked up. 

 

He saw resignation in Allies eyes, the constant hero worship in Ben’s eyes and a startling look of heat in Jared’s eyes.

 

“Just in case,” he mumbled and bent down to pick up the passports sliding them in to Ben’s pack. He had debated leaving them buried, in view of whom he was looking after, against taking them to prove identity and to get help. The debate was still ongoing in his head, but he knew he could always decide to ditch them into the dense forest if he actually decided what to do.

 

“OK guys, we all ready?” A chorus of yes’s. 

 

Taking one last look at the wreck of the plane Jensen gathered his reserves, pushed past memories, and started to move into the forest. Allie behind him, then Ben, Jared at the back. 

 

Survival?

 

Remaining hidden behind enemy lines for three days, crossing back into US space, avoiding friendly fire, hell, he could do survival.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Six months before the crash**

 

It took 2 days for Jensen to track the email author down, using a combination of tracking tools; illegal hints from friends in Navy intelligence, and blind luck.

 

Turns out the email came from one Michael James, brother of Paul James, the same Paul James that was one of Jared’s closest friends at the exclusive private school he attended.

 

Jensen suggested that Paul come over and read the emails, Jared was horrified and hurt and really very embarrassed. Jensen could see that.

 

“So,” Jensen had finally suggested, “let me deal with Michael in my own way.”

 

“Shit man, don’t kill him.”

 

Jensen frowned, “why not?” Jared jumped up horrified.

 

“You can’t kill him, he’s … his … Jeez Jensen.”

 

“I’m kidding with you Jared, calm down. All I’ll do is have a quiet word as I am assuming you don’t want to press charges?”

 

Jared folded his six plus frame back on to his bed, the shame and horror of it all just weighing him down. “No, no charges, I just wanna hide.”

 

“Surely coming out means the end of hiding,” Jensen said softly, sitting next to Jared on the bed, bumping shoulders. Jared blushed.

 

“Telling my two friends wasn’t exactly coming out dude.”

 

”No, but your family, you told your family” Jared frowned, of course he told his family, why wouldn’t he tell them?

 

“Why would I not tell them? Your parents and stuff, they are the last people you can keep secrets from.”

 

“I did,” Jensen paused as Jared looked across at him, his mouth open “I do.”

 

“You do what?”

 

”Keep it a secret that I like sex with women and men, from my mom, my dad, my sister, from the Navy.” Jared managed to shut his mouth, ex Navy-in-a-white-suit-officer-Jensen was bi?

 

”Uhm…” Jared was lost for words.

 

“See, that shocked ya,” Jensen snorted and then gripped Jared’s knee, squeezed it, and rose to leave. “I got stuff I need to do.”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jensen knew the school very well. Knew exactly where Allie had home ec. in room H5 at this very minute, knew that Ben was in the middle of preparing for speech cup with Mrs Riley in the main hall, knew that Jared was receiving tuition in Lit in the college add-on to the side, sat two rows from the back chewing his pen. It was his job to know the school that served children from 0 to 23 in a variety of different campus locations. 

 

Eden Private Education Centre catered to the beyond rich, the very very rich, the obscenely rich and had security that in Jensen’s mind rivaled the Navy. The Padaleckis slotted very easily into the obscenely rich category and as such the presence of Jensen on school grounds was encouraged. In fact the school had a small army of men, like Jensen who had a handle on things for different families. 

 

Which was why it was kind of difficult to lurk outside Michaels lecture waiting on his exit, because so many people saw Jensen standing there, including one particular guy, built like an elephant and twice as obvious, who stood just inside Jensen’s peripheral vision. OK, Jensen had dealt with worse.

 

Michael came out with a group of girls who spotted Jensen leaning against the wall. Jensen had dressed to impress. His tightest jeans, his white button down shirt, dark moody sunglasses, and the noticeable bulge of his gun holster at his side. Despite there being a ban on any weapons on site, it didn’t mean Jensen couldn’t have the holster, couldn’t look the part.

 

The part of the big mean heterosexual male.

 

“Hey Michael,” he called over waving in what he hoped was a familiar way, Michael frowned but came over keeping an eye on the position of his own bodyguard at all times. 

 

“I wanted to introduce myself,” Jensen said calmly raising his hands where Michael’s bodyguard could see them. “I’m Jensen Ackles, I came over to tell you I work with the Padaleckis,” Michael stiffened and frowned. “for Allie and Ben and _Jared_ ,” Jensen added for clarification.

 

“Jared Padalecki.” Michael snorted, not saying anything else but obviously dying too.

 

“Yeah, Jared, Paul’s friend, your younger brothers friend,” Jensen emphasised the word brother.

 

“Yeah, and?”

 

“Jared received some very personal emails and I was wondering if you knew anything about them?” Jensen stood his ground and Michael looked into his eyes, the recognition of knowledge in them.

 

“I might.”

 

”I suggest it doesn’t happen again. Against my better judgement, Jared has decided not to press charges for character defamation, consider yourself lucky.”

 

“As long as he stays away from Paul - ” Jensen tensed and pulled away from leaning against the wall, moving subtly into Michael’s space, pulling up to his full six one, his eyes like flint.

 

“Who Jared speaks to, who Jared is friends with is his choice. Jared’s partners are no concern of yours. Recognise the warning when it is given, son.”

 

“That wasn’t a warning you Neanderthal, that was a threat.” Michael spoke softly, venom in his voice.

 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Jensen voiced casually.

 

By this time Michaels shadow was no more than a foot away from Jensen, obviously recognising the tension in Jensen’s rigid stance.

 

“Michael?” he said. Michael just waved him back.

 

“People don’t threaten me and get away with it.” Michael spat out.

 

“People don’t threaten me and live.”

 

“Fuck you,” and with this Michael turned sharply and crossed the grass, his protector in tow.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Four months before the crash**

 

“Jared Tristan Padalecki get your ass out of the way and let me try.” Jared just scoffed at his sister “I can kill him, just give me a try. Jared” she whined “you are rubbish at these games, give me the controller.”

 

“If you think I am gonna let my 10 year old-”

 

“Nearly 11,” interrupted Ben

 

“-brother beat me at Mario you have got another thing coming.”

 

”Jared he is plainly winning.”

 

”Allie,” Jared warned, wincing as he lost another life

 

“Jensen,” Allie whined to Jensen who sat glued to a textbook, tapping a pen thoughtfully against his lower lip. He didn’t even raise his eyes, just waved a hand vaguely.

 

“Jensen,” she continued in the same pathetically whiny voice “Jared stole my controller, I thought you were supposed to protect me.”

 

“What from controller stealing big brothers? I’ll just check my contract and get back to you on that,” Jensen smirked, Allie pouted, Ben grinned as he wiped Jared’s last life and Jared huffed something that sounded suspiciously like _stupid game._

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“Jensen, can you take me shopping man, I don't want to order Ben his present, I actually want to buy it in person.” This from a pleading Jared, who using a combination of puppy eyes and floppy hair wormed his way to a successful negotiating position. Jensen knew Allie was in her room, Ben had a friend over, and the senior Padaleckis were in their offices. He also knew house security could more than handle cover for Allie and Ben if he went out for a couple of hours; what he didn’t know was whether he could handle mall shopping with the overexcited puppy before him.

 

“OK,” he replied, mostly against his better judgement.

 

The ride to the mall was uneventful. The shopping was uneventful. The lunch they shared in the food hall was uneventful.

 

The bullet Jensen stopped with his arm as he bundled Jared to the floor, that was certainly an event, a moment that would live with both men forever.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“I can’t thank you enough,” Matthew Padalecki gripped Jensen in a tight one-sided hug, conscious of the torn flesh in the through shot Jensen had received in the arm. The nurse quite clearly disapproved as she tutted and dropped bandages in a heap on the bed.

 

“It was nothing,” Jensen reassured him, a little blasé and mellow on painkillers.

 

“It was everything Jensen.”

 

”Do you know if they - ” Jensen tailed off, had they got the shooter?

 

“Got the person who did it? No, but we do have visuals and security footage that the team are sifting through.”

 

“That is a good thing.”

 

“I don’t get it, how did they know you would choose this random afternoon to go shopping.”

 

“Intelligence, they knew somehow, were watching the house, worse case scenario someone tipped them off.” Matthew blanched at the thought that someone he had employed, someone he trusted had led killers to his eldest son.

 

“We’ll find something Mr Padalecki,” Jensen reassured his boss, not doubting for one minute that he would find the man or woman who had dared to enter his world and harm the people he had come to love.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared was made to stay at home and he didn’t have the strength to argue about that. He patiently waited until a drugged up Jensen was delivered to his room under orders to sleep.

 

Jared visited, his mouth grim, his face grey, entering Jensen’s darkening room and closing the door behind him.

 

“Took you long enough to visit,” Jensen snarked.

 

“Hell man I was in shock,” Jared snarked back.

 

“ _You_ were in shock?” Jensen snorted.

 

“I was shot at,” Jared replied defensively.

 

“Yeah, well they clearly missed,” Jensen smiled, defusing the tension

 

“No dude, they didn’t miss, they had me dead centre, if you hadn’t - ”

 

“Don’t think about it, don’t analyse it, forget it.”

 

“Inches Jensen, inches and you’da been dead,” Jared sounded strung out and his voice wavered.

 

“It’s all in the inches,” Jensen joked, wincing as he laughed.

 

“Man, it’s not a joke,” he moved to the bed and sat down, close up to Jensen’s thigh. His hazel eyes damp with tears. Hell, he really was in shock, thought Jensen worriedly.

 

“Jared, it’s not a joke, I don’t think of it as a joke, I just think we need to move on from this, find the people responsible and take it from there.” Jared nodded closing his eyes. When he opened them again they were clear and bright and filled with determination. Come on dammit, just ask him already.

 

“Jensen can I kiss you?” Jensen looked up sharply.

 

“Wha?” Was all he managed to get out.

 

“Can. I. Kiss. You.”

 

”Uhm … why?”

 

“Cos, I nearly died today and you wanna know something, I’ve never kissed a man before, and where else in this mausoleum am I gonna find a willing and hot gay man”

 

“But you know you’re gay, how - ”

 

“Hey you can know you’re gay but not have sex man.” Jensen raised an eyebrow disbelievingly, but decided to not pursue the matter.

 

“One kiss,” Jared persisted.

 

“One kiss, OK.”

 

Jared leaned in and there was the briefest brush of his lips against Jensen’s before he leaned back, consternation on his face. Jensen smiled.

 

“That wasn’t a kiss dude,” he said, gently reaching out his good hand and tangling it in the hair at Jared’s nape pulling the younger man to him until their mouths were inches apart. Jared could feel his heart thumping in his chest and the heat pooling in his groin. Tilting Jared’s head to one side Jensen pressed warm soft lips against his, parted and touched his tongue to Jared’s bottom lip “Let me in” he whispered in a breath and Jared did just that.

 

Warmth so hot it burned, traveled down Jared’s spine, as he tentatively touched his tongue to Jensen’s and they began to explore the taste and touch of each other. Jensen tasted faintly of antiseptic and a dark deep heat that Jared knew he would never have enough of.

 

For ages they moved lips and tongues, Jensen’s hand still twisted in Jared’s hair, Jared anchoring his hands firmly against Jensen’s hard chest. Exchanging breath and moans in each other’s mouths. 

 

It was Jensen that pulled back finally; his breathing ragged his eyes half shut.

 

“Jesus” he said softly, stroking his hand through Jared’s fine flicked hair.

 

“Mmmm,” was all Jared could say, his pupils blown and his breath heavy.

 

“You need to go Jared.” Jensen said softly pushing at Jared’s hands on his chest

 

“I need to go,” Jared repeated kind of dazed

 

“Yeah, go,” Jensen pushed again and Jared stood up moving to the door.

 

“Thanks Jensen.”

 

”Anytime dude.” Jeez, no more, not again, shit.

 

“Jensen.” Jared asked

 

“Yeah?”

 

”You know I’ve never had sex with a man.”

 

Jensen’s only reply was to throw a plastic beaker at Jared’s retreating back watching it bounce off the now closing door and hearing Jared laugh. 

 

As Jensen lay down, desperately searching for sleep he realised what he had done and just how much he was screwing things up.

 

Stop.

 

Stop now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Crash Site + 4 hours**

 

Ben loved his dad. His dad was awesome. 

 

He loved his mom too; her and dad were like the best parents, ever. They found things. Important things, like stuff about Egyptians and other old things and they would bring them home and explain all about history and time and cool stuff that Ben thrived on. 

 

His dad played Playstation with him, had tickle fights with him, helped him with his history homework and his english. He really loved him, the smell of him, his strength as he hoisted Ben high in the air and pretended to drop him. He loved that his dad wanted to spend time with him and Allie and Jared, cos some of his friends never saw their dads, and Ben was proud his dad and mum still kissed and hugged.

 

‘Cept he loved Jensen too, different to Jared, not like a brother. Jensen was too special to be a brother. Brothers sniped at you and teased you and generally burped and farted a lot, mostly in your direction. Jensen didn’t do that; he gave Ben important jobs, like he had done earlier, looking after the flashlight, and he kinda made Ben feel so grown up. If anyone was gonna catch the murderalisers after them then it would be Jensen.

 

Then he loved Jared too. Jared was funny and floppy and really tall and Ben decided the burping and farting was actually really funny and he was secretly working on burping his name so he could impress his big brother at some point soon.

 

It was kind of confusing to have three strong men he could look up to and love, but it was also really cool.

 

He was most worried about dad. He just didn’t want his dad to ever feel he wasn’t the most important, ever.

 

Thoughts like this were what kept him going for the gazillion hours that they had been walking, the bag a heavy weight across his thin shoulders. He was so not giving in, and despite stumbling a few times he was keeping up with Jensen and he would walk till he dropped, he would not be whiny, he would be brave. He wanted to cry, but he would be brave, he wasn’t gonna wimp out.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Allie paused slightly letting Jared catch up and pointed at Ben in front. “He’s tired,” she mouthed softly and Jared nodded gesturing for Allie to continue walking.

 

“Jensen, can we break for a while dude?” Jensen stopped and turned his mouth opened to speak stopping only when he took in Ben’s face, white with exhaustion. He snapped his mouth shut and shot a quick look at Jared, nodding.

 

“Yeah, a break sounds good.” He said, and the four of them fell to the floor in varying positions. Allie had water in her pack, as did Jensen, and they passed a bottle and packaged biscuits between them. 

 

Jensen had a full inventory of what they had in the way of supplies and with the hot close air around them water was the priority. He couldn’t gauge how far they had walked, tree roots and overwhelming big leafed plants made the path winding and unpredictable. They had already cleared 3 bottles of water on the walk and even though it was mostly water they were carrying he really didn’t know how long it would last.

 

He scanned the other three, Allie seemed OK, tendrils of hair stuck round her face, tired and drained, but OK. Jared seemed calm enough and was keeping up with everything fine. Even Ben kept going. For three rich kids they were doing really well and Jensen felt a surge of pride. He palmed two painkillers and passed them over to Jared who attempted to dry swallow them before swallowing a mouthful of water and casting an apologetic glance at the others. 

 

Allie just smiled, “you need the meds Jay, how is the shoulder.”

 

”S’fine, just a bit sore,” he flexed the shoulder and tried not to wince.

 

“Jay, you need to tell me if it feels worse at all,” Jensen prompted quietly

 

“I will, I will.”

 

“No heroics. I mean it Jared.” Jensen’s voice had an edge to it that sent a thrill through Jared, a thrill he quickly quelled, so not the time.

 

”I’ll leave the heroics to you then.” Jared smirked covering the emotion he was feeling

 

“Yeah, you do that,” Jensen replied dryly, raising one eyebrow.

 

“Boys, boys,” Allie interrupted sighing, “jeez… please … please don’t ever grow up Ben.” Allie expected an answer from Ben, something snarky but cute, and looked over when nothing was said. “Ben?” she called and smiled indulgently as she took in Ben’s nodding head and limp body. Jensen followed her gaze and moved quietly to gather Ben in his arms, before slumping down again and resting back against a tree, cradling Ben tightly and reassuringly. 

 

Jensen buried his face in Ben’s long flicky hair, so like Jared’s, and nuzzled his head before dropping a soft kiss on his smooth brow.

 

“We’ll let him sleep a while,” he said to no on in particular, and rested his head on Bens, taking 10 minutes to rest.

 

Allie felt her heart melt, damn Jared and his cute flicky haired gayness that had snared Jensen.

 

Jared felt his heart melt, could he love Jensen any more than he did already?

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

_32 miles north north east of crash site_

 

“Matthew?” Michaela called from somewhere in the darkness behind him. “I think I may have something. His eyes now used to the gloom of the darkened tunnel, Matthew jogged back to his wife, meeting Jake and Evan along the way. The excitement in Michaela’s voice was palpable and Matthew hoped against hope that this was it. This had been the longest search they had ever undertaken and hope had started to fade that they would ever find the markings.

 

He slid to a halt next to his wife, seeing the excitement shining in her eyes, reflecting in the glow from her flashlight.

 

“Matthew” she whispered reverently and passed the flashlight over the wall. “The Neemus markings, I think I’ve found the Neemus markings” She held the flashlight higher as Matthew moved in, tracing the curious markings on the wall. “The journal was right,” she breathed softly as if loud words would destroy the purity of the moment

 

“And if the journal was right about this …” Matthews voice tailed off and he turned to Michaela “…then it could be right about the rest.” Slowly, Michaela threaded her arms around his back pulling him in for an emotional embrace which he returned with equal fervour.

 

“Jeez Matthew, so many questions could be answered here.”

 

Jake and Evan watched, smiling broadly at the find. One man had a singular joy in his heart that they had traced the journal so far and found the first step, watching the couple embrace with affection and love. The other held within his heart only darkness; fed from a revenge and bitterness so black, it was eating away at him like a cancer.

 

One man would die soon, so the other could live.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Crash site + 5 hours**

 

Jensen had no way of knowing how long daylight would last. It was getting perceptibly darker, but he knew that the sun had very little chance of filtering in through the dense canopy of trees above him anyway. They had come across all manner of insects and bugs, and Allie who remained terrified of house spiders was actually remaining very calm. 

 

No snakes as yet, but Jensen felt if they kept moving and tried sticking to some kind of trail, like the one they had picked up a few hours before, then surely snakes wouldn’t bother them? Wishful thinking he supposed, but there again what was the point in scaring everyone. 

 

No one had commented on why he held the gun in his hand as the path grew darker. Why he thought it would help to be holding the gun he didn’t really know, but it made him feel slightly better at least. He had good aim and quick reflexes; it was just a shame that his peripheral vision was screwed on one side. He just hoped against hope that any snakes intent on Ackles flesh came at him on his right hand side and not his left. He shared none of his concerns with the group.

 

He wanted to move and gently shook Ben awake. Ben lifted sleepy eyes to Jensen mumbling something that Jensen didn’t quite catch and he watched as Ben yawned and knuckled his eyes. “Timetogo?” he asked softly his breath warm against Jensen’s cheek.

 

“Time to go bud,” Jensen replied, slightly louder so Allie and Jared heard as well, giving Ben one last hug before setting him on his feet. 

 

A few minutes adjusting packs and they started the walk again, Ben a little livelier and the others just glad to have rested, if only for a while.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**2 months before the crash**

 

Michael finally aimed for some strange twisted revenge on Jared on the same day that Jensen had to identify the mall assailant at the station. It had taken two months for both events to happen and Jensen and Jared had waited for both with trepidation and eagerness equally. Not knowing how Michael would show his true colours, no knowing if the mall shooter would ever be found.

 

Jared had received no more emails and Michael had kept his distance, the only real damage from the whole email business was to Jared’s relationship with his friend, which kind of hurt Jared more than Michael ever could. 

 

Apparently big brothers could exert influence way outside the boundaries of a five-year friendship.

 

The revenge happened after second period. Jensen was away for the day, school security was in place, Jensen had subbed a security officer, gave clear instructions. Given the high profile of the mall shooter and possible associates, he had actually encouraged Ben and Allied to stay at home today. He just couldn’t get Jared to agree to stay at home as well, stubborn bastard, which is why he was left more open than Jensen ever imagined he would be.

 

The first punch came out of nowhere, leaving Jared dazed and shocked. He was alone, between periods, walking to Lit, in the leafy lane between buildings, quiet, relaxed, concentrating on Shakespeare. The second hit was to the back of the head, sickness curling in his stomach, the third again at his head, sudden and brutal, Jared fell to his knees, a kick to his side, his chest, his head. Then nothing.

 

”No fucker embarrasses me like that,” Michaels voice, not his punches, his voice, his warning. Then blessed unconsciousness.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jensen easily pointed out the shooter. The same man that Jensen had spied was watching them and following them. No sniper was this, more up close and personal and as deadly as they came.

 

The police thanked him, and offered him information. Names, some links, one useful contact, enough to take back and follow to the hand that fed the assassin.

 

That is when he received the call.

 

From the hospital.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“I’m serious, I’ll kill him, I’ll fucking kill him,” Jensen spat out, furious and in a high temper.

 

“Jensen stop,” Jared pleaded his voice raw.

 

Jensen ignored the bruised and battered Jared, unable to look at the cuts and swellings on his face, unable to comprehend the lacerations on his leg from being kicked when he was down. 

 

He couldn’t look at the sheet detailing Jared’s condition, even though he could understand the charts, even though it said he was fine, no broken bones, just shocky and winded. Jared wasn’t dying. Jared hadn’t died. 

 

The school had briefed him, Jared had been found unconscious near the literacy block, no one else around, and the ambulance had been called. Jared’s bodyguard had been found tied up in the groundsman’s sheds with no memory of what happened.

 

“I will, I will fucking get my hands around his neck and I will squeeze the life out of him.” He stopped at the end of Jared’s hospital bed running a shaky hand through his short spiky hair still not looking at the younger man.

 

“Jen,” Jared said firmly “Let the school deal with it”. In internal cases like this, the academy came down hard and Jared was convinced that Michael’s money was not going to buy him out of trouble. “You know…” he added, “…My dad is richer than his dad”

 

Jensen snorted and smiled, finally actually looking at Jared. The bruising, the swollen eye, the other hurts he knew were there, just covered by hospital sheets.

 

“I wanna go home Jen,” Jared sighed.

 

“OK Jay lets blow this joint.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**One month before the crash**

 

It had been brewing for months. Since the beating Jared received, since the bullet Jensen took, since the kiss, since the confrontation at the school, since Jensen first walked through the Padalecki front door.

 

A tangible heat sparked and flared between them. 

 

Inevitable then.

 

Allie and Ben out with the parents on a family visit.

 

Jared excusing himself with coursework.

 

Jensen working on security protocols for the up and coming visit to Panama for Matthew and Michaela.

 

Jared bored and searching for company.

 

Finding a gloriously rumpled Jensen muttering over papers, glasses askew and hair in soft spikes.

 

“Jensen?” He whispered, not sure if he actually wanted to disturb Jensen when he was this gorgeously intense.

 

”Huh?” Jensen looked up, slightly unfocused.

 

“Jensen” he said again. “Can we talk?"

 

Jensen’s business facade fell over his face and he slipped his glasses off.

 

“Yeah Jay, what’s on your mind?”

 

“Do you want some coffee?” Jared suggested and turned on his heel obviously expecting Jensen to follow, which he did.

 

Jared pottered making coffee and opening cookies and finally turned as he waited for the coffee machine to do its thing.

 

“What’s up Jared” Jensen leaned back on the work surface, carefully blank.

 

Jared moved to stand closer, moved into Jensen’s space.

 

“Do you think about that kiss?” he swayed a bit closer, unconsciously running his tongue over his lower lip and worrying the same lip with his teeth, his eyes unsure.

 

“Jared … I cant …” Jensen pressed back as far as he could

 

”Do you? Jensen, do you think of it?” Jared had his lips inches away and all Jensen could think was, god, if it wasn’t the sexiest thing that this gorgeous man-child was taller than him.

 

“Jay, I do, you know I do, I just can’t...”

 

“Jensen, I want to kiss you again. Once isn’t enough.”

 

“One kiss Jared, one” he leaned forward, Jared leaned forward. Time stopped.

 

Kisses, starting gently, becoming heated, more than one, kisses on lips, lips exploring taste and texture, teeth nibbling at necks and sucking and kissing and pulling and so, so, hot.

 

Jensen widened his stance, allowing Jared to slot himself between his legs, crotches aligned and pushing and moving.

 

Jensen pulled himself back only long enough to groan Jared’s name and whisper hot promises into Jared’s mouth, dropping his hands to Jared’s waist, pulling at the bottom of Jared’s shirt and reaching for skin, any touch of hot skin. Jared couldn’t seem to let go of Jensen, burying long sun darkened fingers into Jensen’s short hair, pushing his tongue against Jensen’s, dueling, tasting.

 

He was as hard as iron, every molecule of blood rushing to his dick, the hard length solid against Jensen who seemed equally into this.

 

Jensen moved his hand to the front and pulled open the buttons on his fly his hands moving to circle Jared’s heat. Subtly he reversed their positions, leaning Jared back against the counter and using his hands on Jared’s hard body to sink to his knees, lowering Jared’s jeans enough to give him access.

 

“Is this OK Jay?” he asked, pleaded, let me, let me, Jared just nodded his eyes tight shut

 

“Jesus … fuck Jen” was all Jared could say as Jensen closed his mouth around Jared, licking a stripe from base to tip, concentrating on the nerves, and texture and length of him, tasting the pre-come on the tip, rolling his lips across it, savouring the unique taste of his lover. Running his mouth over and down and around, his left hand playing at the base of him, his right hand pressing his own dick, tight and hard and so close just from tasting Jared.

 

Above him Jared threw his head back, incoherent noises coming from his mouth, moaning, and words of one syllable. So fast, he was so close, and it took his whole self not to thrust himself into Jensen’s sinfully hot mouth, he couldn’t look down, couldn’t see the lashes over Jensen’s eyes, the plump lips sucking him down, it would just finish him off.

 

“Jen” he managed to breathe, hot and hard and tortured “Jen” pleading; now I need it now, now Jen.

 

Jen didn’t move, just hollowed his cheeks and sucked and moved impossibly harder and faster. Too far gone, Jared lost himself in Jensen’s mouth, Jensen swallowing him down and kitten licking him clean until it became too much.

 

“Jen … Jensen…” he said weakly as Jensen released him, tucked him back inside and climbed back up, kissing him, letting Jared taste himself.

 

“Fucking hot, so fucking hot”, was all Jensen could say.

 

“Uhm” was all Jared could say

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Somewhere outside Panama City, Crash + 5 hours**

 

“We have a fix on their location, they are moving, or at least the locator is.”

 

”Where too?”

 

“It’s difficult to tell, loosely north of the crash area.”

 

”How close will that take them to the site?”

 

”Not close enough for it to be a problem.”

 

“And the Padalecki Seniors? Do we know where they are?”

 

”To the nearest inch.”

 

“How far off are they from finding it?”

 

“Not far off, he said he thought a day maybe two.”

 

“So we have that long to get the kids, all three of them, or one of them, I don’t care anymore, just get me them.”


	5. Chapter 5

**A long time ago**

 

Deep in the mountains of Cocle Province, some 76 miles south west of Panama City, is a valley where the natives still cherish their legends and are swayed by the enchantment of superstition.

 

If you read the dry tomes of archaeologists, then this beautiful Eden-like valley was the hunting ground and haven of Indians in pre-Columbian times. Their academic reports will detail mysterious inscriptions on huge boulders throughout the area, which to this day remain a mystery.

 

If you listen to the stories woven in the air, and passed from generation to generation you will hear of Flor de Aire, an Indian princess, the daughter of Urraca, the fiercest of chieftains who fought against the Spanish conquistadors. Flor de Aire fell in love with one of the handsome conquistadors who were trying to conquer her people and because of this impossible, untenable dilemma, rejected her lover, Yaravi, the bravest warrior of her tribe.

 

In his despair at her rejection, Yaravi leaped to his death from the top of the mountain that was home, before the eyes of the horrified maiden. Flor de Aire, not wanting to betray her tribe and filled with guilt and doubt, never saw the Spaniard again. As princess she was adorned with jewels the like of which could not bear description. These jewels, this inheritance, meant nothing to her and she handed them out one by one to her loyal handmaidens. All except for a choker of solid gold, adorned with rubies and emeralds, which she buried with Yavari, her warrior lover, in a place where none could find them.

 

It is said that she lay for days next to Yavari’s deep grave, before something compelled her to wander aimlessly through the mountains and valleys crying her misfortune, until she died on the beach, looking toward the beloved mountains where she was born.

 

The mountains, to perpetuate this sad love story, copied the image.

 

 

Many have tried to find Yavari’s grave, treasure hunters, historians, and archaeologists. The legend says that only the pure of heart would find Yavari, and only real love; love that fought battles yet remained true, would allow Flor de Aire and Yavari to become one again, to allow them peace.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**One week before crash**

 

After that night in the kitchen Jared stole kisses where he could, his mind blown on the possibilities of what he could have with Jensen. Jensen welcomed the advances, pulling Jay onto his lap as he worked, burying his face in Jared’s hair, desperate kisses exchanged in private. They went no further than kissing. This more due to Jensen than Jared, who being 19 felt that his world should revolve around sex.

 

The professional in Jensen cringed at what he was doing, the man in him told him he was too old, too jaded. But his heart? Well his heart was full of Jared; Jared’s taste, his smell, his miles of endless sun browned skin, the beautiful hazel eyes, the hipbones just made for pressing eager thumbs into, the neck for nibbling and sucking and biting and, oh shit, the hair.

 

Jensen had already decided Panama was his last tour with the Padaleckis, Matthew had been devastated to see him leave, had offered to double his money, but in the end respected the younger man’s need to sort himself out. Jensen’s dreams consisted of peace and silence and a plane to run charter flights somewhere remote, Alaska perhaps. His disability pension was enough to keep one man alive and with the money he had earned from the Padaleckis the plane was within reach.

 

Matthew understood but he was determined to have one final talk with Jensen after Panama. He wasn’t blind, he could see what was happening between his eldest and Jensen and he felt strangely comfortable with the thought of Jensen with Jared. Jensen needed to know this; he needed to be told he would be good for Jared.

 

Allie didn’t really suspect anything until she walked in on the two men kissing in the kitchen. Smiling fondly and turning on her heel she couldn’t help but feel a tiny irrational jealousy. 

 

Would she ever win?

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Somewhere outside Panama City, Crash + 6 hours**

 

“We have dispatched Echo team” A giant map adorned one wall of the office and the shorter man pointed at an area in dense forest in and around markers of blue and red “they should pick them up in roughly 15 minutes.”

 

“Good.”

 

”The helicopter is due to leave now sir, do you have any final instructions?”

 

“I just need the boy, and I hope for your sake it isn’t just the locator that made it through the crash intact or this will be for nothing”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Crash Survivors + 6 hours**

 

Jensen called a halt to the ongoing struggle through the dense foliage, deciding that they had put enough distance between them and the plane and that they could get some sleep. He organised a rota for staying awake, which he did to encourage the others more than anything, as he didn’t plan on sleeping any time soon. Allie and Ben had first sleep, and more or less falling where they stood they curled together and let Jensen and Jared look after them.

 

The two men stood, Jensen refused to let Jared see the doubt and worry in him, wanted to appear strong and in charge, when really all he wanted to do was rail and scream at whoever had put his charges in danger. Jared wouldn’t let the façade stay though, as he moved over and touched a hand to Jensen’s arm. Jared would be able to see in his eyes; Jared would know all his insecurities and fears and it was this vulnerability in him that he never wanted anyone to see that had made him push Jared away.

 

“Tell me you are going to get some sleep Jen.” Jared’s use of his nickname sent a wave of longing through him, a desperate ache to stop with the façade and take strength from Jared.

 

“I’ll sleep when we get out of the forest.” Jensen said simply, but stubbornly.

 

“It won’t help us if you are too exhausted to guide us,” Jared pointed out, carefully gauging the older man’s reaction. He watched as Jensen pulled their one remaining working cell phone from his pocket and moved around the area they were in.

 

“Still nada on the signal,” Jensen sighed, pocketing the cell and leaning back against a tree, hunching into his jacket as the chill of night air whispered around them. Jared glanced over at his sleeping sister and brother before crossing to stand in front of Jensen, his own hands deep in his jacket pockets, his stance solid and as non confrontational as he could make it, which included an unconscious hunching slightly to decrease his height.

 

“Jensen, we need to talk.”

 

”Jared, in case you hadn’t noticed, we are in the middle of a forest here, with saboteurs thinking we are probably dead, but that are probably going to come and check anyway, night air getting colder by the minute, and little or no water left. Now is not the time for a chat.”

 

“I didn’t say chat, I said talk, you know meaningful conversation between two people with a beginning, middle and an end?”

 

“Don’t get cute Jay, I’m not being deliberately obtuse, I’m trying to get us out of here alive and in one piece.”

 

“Kinda handy then the plane crashing... talk about avoidance.”

 

”You think I crashed the plane on purpose to avoid talking about us?” Jensen was incredulous, disbelieving and getting angry.

 

“Yes …No … oh for fucks sake, you know I didn’t mean that, it’s just … you tie me in knots Jen.” Jared ran a hand through his long hair, pushing it away from his face, his restless hands needing something to grip hold of.

 

“We do need to talk Jay, it is what I was planning to do after the Panama trip, we need to realise who we are in this life, see the age difference, understand why this can't happen.”

 

“Age difference?” This time it was Jared’s turn to look stunned “What age difference? Four years Jen? Four freaking years?”

 

“Four years, but Jesus Jay, when I was 19 I had already been enlisted three years, traveled half the world, I’m used up here.”

 

“That is a pile of shit, I’m 20 next week, old enough and ugly enough to know my own mind, to know what I want.”

 

“You don’t want me Jay, not really, you have sorted your head out, with the whole gay thing. It was fun whilst it lasted, but this is my last week with you and your family and you need a fresh start with someone who has less baggage.”

 

Jared almost whined with frustration, why could Jensen not see that he was loved? Why wasn’t Jared enough to make him stay? He stepped closer, pulling his hands from his pockets and cradling Jensen’s face, holding him still, tilting his head up slightly, looking into Jensen’s carefully blank expression.

 

“And I don’t have baggage?” he said carefully.

 

“No Jay you don’t, you haven’t seen what I have seen, and you haven’t lived through any of the shit I have had to. You are blessed Jay. Blessed with a happy family and money and education. That is what keeps you young and naive and idealistic.”

 

“Naïve? You think I am naïve?”

 

“Yeah, Jay, you are. You are cushioned from the real world, not a bad thing, just don’t let the real world come into your life and ruin what time you have with your parents and your sister and brother.”

 

“But what if I want that real world? What if I want you?”

 

“You cant have me Jared, I will not take something that we shared and drag you through the all the shit that goes with it as it crumbles.”

 

“It might not crumble.”

 

”It will, it’s inevitable, I don’t belong in your world Jay, I never can.”

 

“So who is being naïve now? Happy endings do happen Jen.” 

 

“Just not to all of us Jay, not to all of us.”

 

With a frustrated moan Jared moved forward the final inches, pressing his hard body against Jensen and capturing his lips in a punishing heartfelt kiss, tilting his head, forcing Jen to open to him, tasting him, marking him, if he wasn’t going to listen then, damnit, Jared would make him at least feel honest emotion.

 

Jensen reacted like a match to kindling, winding his arm around Jared’s neck, his hands twisting in soft hair, not pushing him away, if anything pulling him in deeper, welcoming the kiss.

 

Jared pulled back, inches between their lips.“You can’t say that is wrong,” he whispered hotly.

 

“Jay …” Jensen paused, his green eyes shadowed with doubt and sorrow “…this isn’t wrong, it could never be wrong, when we are alone … when it is just us … just us …” Jensen was pleading with Jared to understand “… that is so perfect and so right. But the rest of it …” he tailed off, closing his eyes, long lashes resting on freckled skin.

 

“Jensen. Please.” Jared was begging him. Jensen just pressed his cheek against one of Jared’s hands, shaking his head slightly.

 

“I cant do it to you” he whispered, voice broken and dripping with raw emotion. Jared sighed, dropping his hands from Jensen, pulling at Jensen’s arms, still traitorously wrapped around his neck.

 

“Jensen, this isn’t finished, I’m not letting you give up.”

 

“You will,” Jensen said confidently, sadly. “You will.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Echo Team, 1 mile from crash survivors position**

 

The helicopter touched down lightly, skilfully manoeuvred in to the smallest of cleared areas, a remnant from an old drug lord, Echo leader imagined as he organised the drop zone.

 

The four men in his team stood around him and he issued last minute instructions. Details had been thrashed out on the flight over, nothing new needed to be added, Echo leader just wanted to make it very clear who the target was and who, if necessary, was expendable.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Cave site, Matthew and Michaela Padalecki**

 

The four of them sat huddled over the images Evan had taken with the camera and loaded on to the laptop.

 

“They match the journal exactly.” Matthew pronounced grasping his wife’s hand and squeezing enthusiastically, she looked at him, the man she had married, at the almost childish enthusiasm that had helped him build a company from scratch, that made him a good husband and father … she couldn’t be happier for him.

 

Evan cleared his throat, quite clearly in awe of their find. “What is the next step in the Journal?” he asked, even though he knew the journal back to front, they all did.

 

“If we can decipher the markings using the cipher that Neemus had devised, then our next step is the waterfall.”

 

“What do you mean 'if'?” Jake asked abruptly. Matthew looked over at him with a frown on his face.

 

“You know why Jake, the markings have faded over time, we’ll just have to hope they are intact enough to decode.” He was trying to be patient with the question but was annoyed at the man’s attitude in the face of this wonderful find. Jake should be enthralled and excited at extending this archaeological history, not questioning the primary source. Jake visibly deflated at the sharp retort.

 

“Sorry Matt, I’m just tired … and hungry … food anyone?” Matthew had to laugh at Jake and his obsession for eating. The mere mention of food never failed to brighten Jake’s day. Carefully Matthew closed the laptop and plugged it back into the solar charging unit, nodding as the charge light flickered on, food he could do.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Echo Team, 60 feet from crash survivor's position**

 

Jensen heard them long before they arrived but not quick enough to do anything except stand in front of the others with his gun.

 

It was over in seconds, Allie and Ben still asleep, Jared looking at Jensen for direction.

 

“Put the gun down … sir.”

 

Jensen looked from one man to another, cataloguing weaponry, five on one, odds not good. Throwing a desperate look over his shoulder at Jared, he lowered his weapon and allowed himself to be searched.

 

The man who had issued the order gestured to a now waking and clearly scared Allie and Ben “get up,” he said simply. They did, Jared moving subtly in front of them, Allie protecting Ben in her arms. Stealthily the team had moved behind them, surrounded them, nothing else could be done. No more words were spoken, the four crash survivors followed the man with the orders, hemmed in on all sides, silent and watchful.

 

They knew where we were, how the fuck did they know that? The cell phone was untraceable, he had made sure of that months ago, so that led him to one conclusion, the men holding them at gunpoint must be the same people who engineered the plane crash.

 

Fuck. 

 

Not good.


	6. Chapter 6

**Echo Team and Survivors**

 

They were hurried along the path that Jensen had been following and encouraged to climb in the waiting helicopter with gestures and guns, no words. Jensen was astonished as he was faced with a US navy helicopter and he exchanged glances with Jared, a worrying prickle at the back of neck.

 

The bird lifted as soon as they sat and Jensen reached out a hand to Ben as he slid in the seat.. He started as the team leader reached over to Ben’s arm moving to block the action, but the man just lifted his eyes to Jensen’s and shook his head briefly.

 

Some instinct made Jensen drop his guard and let the other man in. Ben sunk back closer to Jared who just pulled him securely into his side casting angry looks at both Jensen and the man in the fatigues. Jared watched as the man waved a small black box over and around Ben’s arm focusing on his watch, the face of which had cracked in the crash and then used his other hand to indicate something to Jensen who’s face creased into a frown.

 

Jared made as if to say something but Jensen placed a finger over his mouth shaking his head.

 

The light on the box turned red and the other man gently unstrapped the watch, turning it over and deftly releasing the back to reveal the battery which he removed and flicked out of the open door, watching as it fell the 90 feet or so to the floor of the forest. Ben looked confused as his watch was handed back to him and the rest of him was scanned, then Jared, then Allie and finally Jensen. 

 

The other man finally indicated it was fine to speak “Lieutenant Ackles, sir, Chief Austin, leader, Echo Team sent to extract you and survivors” Jensen felt his temper rising.

 

“Not that I am not grateful but who are you and how the hell did you know about the tracker?”

 

“We had our orders sir, I have no other information”

 

“Stop with the sir” Jensen said irritably. He hated the whole Navy secrecy thing when he was on the other side of it and he moved back in his seat his arm around Allie, securing her to his side, trust was a two way street and he wasn’t ready to give anything to them yet.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Somewhere outside Panama City, Crash + 7 hours**

 

“We have them”

 

“All of them, alive?”

 

“All of them”

 

“Just bring the boy, the precise timing for this is essential"

 

“And the others?”

 

“See that they are comfortable and suspect nothing, we can deal with them later”

 

“Sir”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Cave site, Matthew and Michaela Padalecki**

 

When the sun had risen enough to cast a glow across the campsite, it was to find Matthew crouching next to the old fire, his laptop up and running and notes and papers spread around him.

 

“Morning” Michaela breathed in his ear; reaching from behind and pulling him close in a morning cuddle. “Have you tracked it down yet?”

 

“Hmmm” he leaned back into her embrace and they kissed gently “I am so close Mika, I can see the solution right here” he said gesturing at the papers.

 

“Coffee?” she said smiling indulgently

 

“Thank god for wives” he smirked and she smacked him lightly on the arm, making a move to stand and start the coffee and some breakfast.

 

“Good job I love you, jerk” she returned laughing.

 

Evan watched the exchange quietly from a distance, a smile on his face, he missed his wife, she had been gone three years now and the Padaleckis were like his extended family. With no other family to fall back on, these digs and searches they undertook had become his life, and he had the same sense as Matthew that they were so close.

 

He sensed Jake behind him and turned, a smile on his face, a smile that was swallowed in a grimace of pain and fear as a knife twisted in his gut and was pulled upwards. Evan died in seconds, no time to shout, or scream, or warn his friends, shock and disbelief his last ever thought.

 

Jake wiped the blood from his hands and dragged the limp man back into the tent before sending the confirmation text, frowning at the remains of blood that transferred to the phone; he hoped it wouldn’t break it.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Echo Base**

 

The helicopter landed and the four of them were encouraged to exit the bird, which they did with little fuss, the three Padaleckis looking to Jensen for direction, individually sensing Jensen’s worry and discomfort. If these were the good guys why hadn’t they given Jensen back his gun? And why didn’t they say anything, explain anything?

 

“Sir, we need to move inside, get you settled, the General will be down to debrief you as soon as he can” Jensen nodded, a growing sense of dread building inside him. “You can grab showers and change and there is food and drinks”

 

”We’ll stay together” Jensen insisted, no one argued.

 

They were shown to a complex of rooms and Allie and Ben slumped on the bed at one end of the first room, leaving Jared standing next to Jensen by the door. They waited until the Chief had left closing the door behind him and Jared leaned in to Jensen

 

“I don’t like this” he whispered into Jensen’s ear. Jensen nodded in agreement, moving over to crouch in front of Allie, snagging bottled water as he passed it and passing it to her and Ben. Gently he placed his finger on his lips indicating silence, Allie nodded and squeezed Ben, who smiled weakly but nodded in agreement.

 

Jared came over dropping to the floor and leaning back against Allie. “What do we do?” He mouthed silently

 

“I need to think, this doesn’t seem right.” Jensen mouthed back with a shrug and started to pace, drinking water and trying to concentrate. 

 

OK, looking at the facts. The US had somehow found them, using a tracker in Ben’s watch, how did they know about the tracker? Did they put it there? How did they manage that? Jensen would expect to be debriefed immediately but that hasn’t happened, why? What was the delay? Their rescuers knew them, knew Jensen, and knew his ex rank? How and why?

 

Jensen looked around the fairly standard room, iron bars on the windows, but that was nothing unusual in military buildings. When they landed he had scanned the layout, it wasn’t a big place, not particularly defendable, not guarded, that is when his senses started to work overload.

 

In guard dog mode he leaned against the wall by the door, alert and ready for anything that came in the door. He watched Jared and Allie mumbling and cuddling Ben, voices low until all three of them relaxed in a jumble of support and concern and one by on they slept. 

 

Jensen would stay awake, blinking back exhaustion and an overwhelming need to shut his eyes. 

 

He felt dizzy with tiredness, and a heaviness started to seep through him, a dizziness that wasn’t right, sudden and effective. He put two and two together as he started to lose consciousness, the water. 

 

His knees gave way and he fell to the floor, his limbs paralysed and loose, watching helplessly as blurred figures entered the room and moved to the bed, extricating Ben from his brother’s arms and carrying him out of the door.

 

He was screaming in his head for them to stop, to leave Ben, hearing the door lock click into place and finally losing the battle with consciousness. Images of Ben and his own brother Keiran, mixing and churning in the fear.

 

Ben, please, Ben, Keiran, I'm sorry.

 

Ben. Keiran.

 

Nooooo


	7. Chapter 7

Jensen was lost in dreams, lost in memories that moved from one to another in a confusion of images and sound. 

 

_Ben had gone, been taken, Kieran had gone. Kieran had died, on Jensen’s watch. A 15-year-old big brother with an adored 10-year-old brother. Ben? No Kieran. Kieran Ackles, clown, class idiot, Jensen’s brother. Flashes of summer, of family holidays, of the onerous position of looking after little brother, secretly enjoying the laughter Kieran brought into everyone’s lives._

_Indulging adventures, climbing rocks, Ben, no Kieran, swimming too far, climbing to high, pranks, caving. Caving._

_Sheltering from a sudden cloudburst, a build up of previous rain forcing through centuries of rocks and silt, hitting Jensen and Kieran, killing Kieran in seconds, leaving Jensen alive, broken, bruised and alone. They got Kieran out, buried him on a sunny Friday in the family plot, Jensen stoic, his sister in tears, Allie, Allie in tears, no Kathy, Kathy in tears, parents silent in grief at the damning actions of fickle nature._

_Why Kieran? Why Kieran, why not me? Why Ben? Why not take Ben, leave Kieran here. Leave Kieran with his big brother, I’ll look after you, I’ll pull you out of the way, I’ll stay here, let nature have me. Take the watch. What watch? Take it, you need it, you don’t need Kieran, you can’t have him and the watch. What watch? Who gave you a watch? Who gave Ben the watch?_

_The images changed, Jared, alive and sitting, Kieran is OK Jensen, Kieran will be fine, we need to find Ben, I can’t leave Kieran, I can’t … they will kill Ben, where have they taken Ben, Jensen, where is Ben, forget Kieran, leave him, find Ben, for me, find Ben, where have they taken …_

 

“Jensen, Jensen, where is Ben, Jensen” Jared shook Jensen harder, “Ben isn’t here, they drugged us, they’ve taken Ben”

 

With a groan Jensen levered himself from the floor, his head spinning, feeling a cup of water being pushed in his hand

 

“The water” he mumbled, half here, half in his dreams

 

“S’ok, took it from the faucet” Jared reassured the older man who immediately drank, flushing his system, shaking his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

 

“Jensen, can you stand dude?” Jared started to pull Jensen to his feet but let go when Jensen shook him off and stood upright, swaying slightly.

 

“How long have we been out?” he said, looking at his watch but not focusing entirely straight

 

“About an hour” Jared confirmed “Ben has gone Jen, they have taken Ben and locked us in here”

 

“I know, I can see, I heard” I saw

 

“Why have they taken Ben? Why Ben” Jared had a note of hysteria in his voice “Why not me? Ben is only 10, he’s a child”

 

“And that” Jensen started stretching his neck and shoulders “is why they took him, because he is a child, an easy hostage” an easy target. Something in Jensen’s dreams couldn’t leave him, he was used to lingering memories of that stormy day when the life of the Ackles family changed, he was used to the memories haunting his waking hours, but this? This part of the dream was important, if only he could remember, if only he could see what he …

 

“The watch” he blurted out suddenly “Jared, who gave Ben the watch?” Jared frowned, turning to Allie who shrugged

 

“It was for his 10th birthday” she said “But he got loads of stuff” she added

 

“It’s important” Jensen prompted

 

“Max” Jared said suddenly and looked to Allie for confirmation. 

 

She nodded “Max, Uncle Max”

 

”Uncle Max?” Jensen deflated, family, that couldn’t be the connection

 

“Yeah, Uncle Max” Jared elaborated “not really our Uncle though, he was at university with Dad, went into the army, kept in touch, you know, barbecues, christenings. He is my godfather… and Allies I think. Dad’s best friend for a long time. Had a big falling out, what over I don’t know, just the usual growing up crap I think, got back in touch a coupla years ago, hence the presents”

 

There, that could be the connection “OK guys, we need to find Ben, to do that we get out of here, then I want to know everything about this Max, I have a bad feeling about all of this”

 

Jensen walked into a few of the side rooms, checking for exits, but every single window had bars. He stood at the door listening intently but heard nothing, looking out of the window it seemed like the place was deserted and Jensen had an inkling they had been left. Their only exit was through the door, guard or no guard on the other side. it really was their only option. It was a standard internal office door, locked, opening outwards, hinges tight. 

 

Well Jared wanted mad ninja skills, and one of the things Jensen was very good at was kicking in doors. That came from rescuing friends from less than salubrious surroundings on shore leave in the same manner.

 

“Stand back and behind me” he instructed, sensing Jay and Allie move back and concentrating his stance into position, feeling the tension curling inside him, releasing the anger and frustration he was feeling in one clean kick, sending the flimsy lock flying and the door banging against the outside wall. He immediately fell to a crouch ready to deal with a guard but there was no one there. Either they felt three unconscious prisoners didn’t need guarding or they really had left and abandoned them.

 

“This way” he murmured and the three of them cautiously rounded the corner to the main door of the building.

 

Deserted. The whole complex was deserted. No people, no cars, just empty buildings. No papers, spaces on walls where papers and maps had hung. Jared crossed to a white board his face curious.

 

“Jen” he said softly “the sun on the whiteboard, I can see writing, if you look from this side”

 

The whiteboard had been wiped clean, smears of green and red around the edges, but Jared was right. A ghosted image of writing could be seen, jumbled, difficult to read, a few words clear, times, half a date, some tumbled together coordinates and half a word mixed with others.

 

“Yaravi” Jared breathed

 

“Yaravi?” Jensen asked, “What does that mean? Is it a place? A code? A person”

 

“A person” Jared answered, looking to Allie for confirmation, she was the one who was going to follow Mom and Dad into archaeology.

 

“Yaravi, warrior lover of Flor de Aire, hundreds of years back. It is a local legend. I don’t understand, what does Mom and Dad’s dig have to do with any of this? What connection does that have to Ben?”

 

“Mom and Dad are on a dig, not a dig, more a puzzle,” Jared suggested quietly, the awful truth dawning on him a second at a time. “They were tasked to follow a journal … a journal … Edwardian guy wrote it … some Neemus guy who said he had tracked down the grave of Yaravi and had decoded wall carvings pointing the way.”

 

“What is special about this …”

 

”Yaravi? It was said he was buried with a necklace, or rather a neck piece” Allie gestured expansively “like solid gold, rubies, emeralds, other precious stones. Probably worth millions in today’s market.”

 

”And your parents want the necklace?” Jensen was confused

 

“No. No, they wanted to prove or disprove the Neemus writings, to see if the codes he unraveled can be used on other cave markings, to translate stories and events from people who were kind of wiped out by the conquistadors”

 

Jensen pulled everything together in his head “So this dig they are on, this is all centred about this Yaravi guy, your parents want to track his grave down for education, and it looks like bad guys want to track it down for money? And they needed a hostage to encourage your Mum and Dad to stay on the straight and narrow."Jensen mused.

 

“No, I think it is worse than that” Allie said, suddenly fearful and holding Jared’s hand tight. “The legend says only the pure of heart can bear witness to Yaravi, but if you dig deeper, learn more, it says only blood from the pure hearted can unlock the grave.”

 

Jared paled “blood?” he said disbelief in his voice “They want Ben’s blood” Allie nodded, scared to agree to the facts as they were laid before her.

 

“The blood of innocence and the love between two that has fought battles and won” she summarised choking on tears.

 

“Mom and Dad” Jared whispered brokenly “We need to find them … Jensen, we need to find them all”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Matthew and Michaela watched the mad man in front of them with disbelief in their eyes.

 

Strung out and covered in blood this Jake was not the Jake they had hired, not the smooth talking joker who made them laugh. They had hired him for his tracking skills and his knowledge of the local area; he had good references, sterling references. And now he held a gun on them, and Evan was more than likely dead. 

 

Matthew had smoothly moved to stand half in front of his wife, trying to talk Jake down, but Jake just stood, silent, a strange light in dark eyes, half crazed and high on dominance. He only moved when he heard the blades of a helicopter, glancing skywards briefly before returning his gaze to the Padaleckis.

 

“They are here,” he said simply and all three watched as the helicopter landed followed closely by another. Soldiers in fatigues jumped out, then a small figure, then a tall one, Michaela recognised Ben and a sudden dread filled her,

 

“Ben” she shouted starting to move, only to be hit across the face by a grinning Jake and falling to the ground. Matt moved to help his wife to stand, unsure of what to do first as Ben shook off the taller mans hand and ran towards them, scooped up in his dad’s arms

 

“Ben” he said simply, burying his son’s head in his neck.

 

“Matthew” Matt looked up, recognising his old friend, what the hell is going on here?

 

“Max, wha - ” 

 

Max lifted a hand to stop Matthew talking “Are you OK Mika?” he said, watching carefully as she touched a finger to he bleeding lip. A sudden anger coursed through him and in the blink of an eye a bullet from his gun had lodged itself between Jakes eyes, Jake slumping to the floor. Ben shuddered in his dad’s arms whimpering.

 

“What the hell - ” began Matt, shielding Ben from the grisly sight

 

“I asked you Mika, are you OK? I am sorry he hurt you, he was told not to hurt you … he paid”

 

Ben sobbed into his dad’s neck, Matt wanted answers now.

 

“Where are Jared and Allie, Max? Where is Jensen?”

 

“Alive” was all Max said, gesturing with his gun to the site tent where the tables were laid with papers and photos. “ We need to talk”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared looked doubtful as Jensen clambered into the ageing helicopter.

 

“It doesn’t look safe,” he said

 

“It’s OK, bit rusty, but if she flies…” Jensen’s voice tailed off. Allie had suggested a direction where Ben and her parents may be and if he died trying he would get them back.

 

“Can you fly helicopters?” Jared prodded, Jensen just looked over with raised eyebrows “Yes. Also, remember, a plane I have crashed, two actually, I’ve never crashed a helicopter”

 

“Comforting.” Jared grumbled. Jensen slid down to stand next to Jared, checking where Allie was and watching as she rummaged in cupboards for something, anything, to help them find the others.

 

“Jay, if it flies, then I can pilot it,” he said reassuringly, dropping his hands to Jared’s arms and squeezing gently. “OK? We will find them, we will get them back safe ... we will not crash”. Jared held his gaze, his eyes scared and uncertain, he blinked slowly. Jensen reached up and dropped a gentle kiss on Jared’s lips, just a soft pressure, a certain pressure. “It’ll be OK”

 

Jared nodded, his lips tingling and his heart warming. “OK he said” Jensen dropped his hands

 

“So…” Jensen started “hotwiring a ‘copter 101”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The gun on Matt never wavered as Max detailed what had happened, he listed to it all, the ranting of a mad man.

 

Legends and fact twisted together in a sick fantasy of enormous wealth, the kind of wealth that Matt had, apparently, and a version of a love story involving his wife and Max, how Michaela would see Max as her real love. He spoke of trying to kill Jared, of how he wouldn’t hurt Allie because she looked so much like Michaela.

 

Matt felt sick, physically sick as he looked over at his stricken wife and blessedly dozing son.

 

All that was needed, he had said with a chilling finality, was the blood of an innocent, harvested and sacrificed on the grave of another spurned warrior. Just like Max himself had been spurned … by Michaela.

 

And what better than the blood of Matt’s own son. A child Max couldn't stand to look at.

 

Ben.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared helped Allie into her seat

 

“Have you thought that maybe they left this here for us to find, expecting us to follow?” Jared asked, waving expansively around the interior of the ageing machine

 

“I have” Jensen replied checking dials and tapping them thoughtfully.

 

“So ..”

 

”So we have to get to Ben, and your parents, and using this heap of shite is our only way to move quickly”

 

“Do you think they may have …” Jared didn’t want to voice his concern, his defense being that if it wasn’t said then it wasn’t true

 

”Sabotaged it?” Jensen offered, Jared cringed.

 

”Mmmm” was all Jared had to say, not wanting to make a big thing in front of Allie.

 

Jensen pulled at Jared’s hand and Jared fell towards him, “I am a damn good pilot Jared, I have checked her over with a fine toothcomb, there are no explosives I can identify, nothing in the fuel that I can find that is obvious, the electrics seem fine, she seems stable, I’ll stay low, I’m happy to fly, I need to go”

 

Jared filtered the words through his panicking mind, I, I, what the fu-

 

“What do you mean I? We are all ready to go … lets go” Jared dropped a quick kiss on Jensen’s mouth “Lets go” he whispered, and he dropped back next to Allie, taking her small hand in his and looking into her eyes, smiling softly.

 

“You ok?” he asked pulling her attention to him and away from the scared darting glances she was using to look anywhere except outside of the helicopter.

 

“I’m fine Jay” she said bravely “I’ll be fine, I want to get Ben back”

 

“Same here sis, same here”

 

“Jay”

 

”Hmm?”

 

”Jay, if this thing goes down and that is it - ”

 

“Allison - ”

 

“Let me finish Jay … I want you to know that I love you big brother, and I am so happy you found Jensen, and I want …” Allie’s voice broke and Jared leaned over pulling her into a hug. “Jay, I want Ben to know that too”

 

“Allie, he knows you love him, you can tell him yourself as soon as we catch up with him”

 

“I know”

 

“Allie, I love you too little sister” One final squeeze and he dropped back straight in his seat, strapping himself in and taking a deep breath, watching Jensen as he confidently and competently brought the helicopter to life and sat waiting for the rotors to come to speed. 

 

Their lives were in his hands, strong, capable, experienced hands. 

 

In Jensen's hands and the hands of the gods.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Matthew, Michaela and Ben had been separated.

 

Matthew to the information tent, a gun on him, working on the codes, the translations, his head elsewhere, worried to death about his wife and son.

 

Michaela had been encouraged into another tent, a newly erected tent, for Max and his bodyguards, complete with guns and a laptop. She wasn’t left alone once, and actually she was pleased for the company of the guards as Max was really freaking her out. 

 

Incredibly polite, but too touchy feely for her liking. 

 

He seemed to be under the illusion that he loved her and that she loved him, she didn’t remember this Max at all. She had always found him a bit odd, but she had never shown him any affection, nothing to lead him to feel she felt anything for him except tolerance as her husbands friend.

 

She was pretending now. Pretending for the life of her son. Trying to work out what was going on, cataloguing everything Max said, desperate to get to the laptop, to connect to the outside world. She was obsessing about the safety of her other children too, Jared, her eldest, so confident in himself, so handsome, so lucky to have found someone like Jensen at such a young age. And Allie, so beautiful, only 16, so clever, as interested in mysteries as her mom and dad, such a good sister to Ben. She prayed they were OK, somewhere safe with Jensen.

 

“Mika” she heard him enter the tent, watched as he gestured the guards outside “Mika” we need to talk about how we are going to deal with Matt” he said dropping to his knees next to her as she sat on the camp bed

 

“Deal with Matt?” she repeated, lost as to what he meant

 

“Once he gives us the translation we don’t need him anymore, it can just be us, you, me”

 

“And Ben” she added

 

“Sweetheart you know Ben has to leave us, for us to be together” Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked at him “Don’t cry, we can have our own children, it’ll be fine”

 

“Max, I am married to Matt, I love him, I love my children”

 

A quick flash of anger in his eyes and he stood “I know you think that at the moment, but I know you’ll see, just give it time, wait till Matt is gone and Ben is gone and Jared and Allie are gone, it will just be you and me”

 

Real tears ran down her face, unable to contain the overwhelming dread inside her. What do I do, what do I say? Go with it, wait for the right time. What if giving in encourages him to kill Matt?

 

“Give me time” she said simply, sucking back the tears and giving Max a tremulous smile. This might work.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The helicopter rose a few inches, steady and sure, and Jensen visibly relaxed into what he was doing, the noise of the blades comforting and safe. He tested the controls; a bit sluggish, a bit jerky, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He had always found helos uncomfortable and slow compared to the jets he flew, but they had maneuverability in tight situations and he had hundreds of hours under his belt. It was just a matter of learning this machine's quirks and vulnerabilities and expecting the worse at all times. 

 

He lifted her higher, knowing which way he had to turn, realising he was holding his breath waiting for an explosion, or a rotor failure, or something equally as awful, and forced himself to relax his breathing again. 

 

He planned to keep her low and slow, hugging the earth, which he knew would make for an uncomfortable white-knuckle ride for Jay and Allie, and he silently apologised.

 

He turned her, pointed her towards the mountains and to Ben.

 

In the back Allie shut her eyes, squeezing Jared’s hand so tight that he winced, but he didn’t pull the hand away, proud that Allie actually sought his comfort at this time.

 

Jared concentrated on Jensen, on Jensen’s hands, the concentration in him, the almost lazy way he guided the helo across the tops of trees breaking out into open brush land within a few minutes. He watched as muscles bunched and relaxed when Jensen reached for switches, mesmerized by the movement, falling in love just a little bit more at each movement.

 

The brush was a good sign, and the mountains loomed in the distance. Allie had offered the south west of the princess as the site for her parents. She explained what she meant by the princess and as they crossed the brush the outline of Flor de Aire rose above them, a stunningly beautiful but eerie sight. 

 

He gauged a place to aim for, he wanted some cover even though he knew they would know he was coming. They would hear and see the helo, but his plan was to land some way apart from the site. It was as they approached the landing site, some twenty minutes in to the flight, when Jensen felt movement through his arms, through the bracing, a shudder that wouldn’t be obvious to Jared and Allie but that he could feel to his core. The stick moved freely in his hand and suddenly he knew where the problem was. They were going down, that was inevitable, he just had to hold it together. 

 

”Jared” he shouted over the engine, sensing the younger man leaning forward “We have a problem, I am going to go low, you and Allie need to jump”

 

”No, Jensen - ”

 

“Jared, you need to do what I say, I am slowly losing control of this bird and I need you and Allie to jump, now”

 

“Jensen…” The engine note changed as Jensen forced the helo lower, his muscles straining against the bucking machine.

 

“In three Jared, in three, jump and roll” Jared and Allie unbuckled themselves and opened the door, the rush of air taking their breath from them with a vicious snatch. In that moment as he held on to Allie, time stopped for Jared, he could taste a mix of fear and sorrow as he looked over at Jensen … who knew whether Jensen would make it out alive … was he coming?

 

“1 … 2 … 3”

 

Jared and Allie leaped from the helo into the blur of scrub and grass as it hovered no more than three feet from the ground, both landing and rolling, Jensen didn’t see them land, just pulled the helo to the right aiming for an outcrop of stone, setting the helo into the start of a spin, jumping as it started to skim the ground and rolling, covering his head as the rotors clipped the rock and the helo started to tumble, edge over side, falling to the ground with an explosion that reached way past Jensen, way out into the brush, touching and burning and destroying.

 

Jared stood, shaken as the explosion echoed in the valley, watching as the fireball reached high into the sky, almost in slow motion, and then he grabbed Allie by the hand and ran, toward the explosion, towards Jensen.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Max had been alerted to the helicopter, stood and watched as it skimmed the ground and disappeared into the valley. Watched with satisfaction as the sick bird had turned and tumbled from view, engine screaming. Watched with a smile as the explosion rocked the valley.

 

Now to tell Michaela that there was one less barrier to overcome.


	9. Chapter 9

Jared ran blindly, his heart beating out of his chest, his throat raw from screaming Jensen’s name, stumbling blindly up the hill, tripping, faltering, pulling Allie with him, desperation driving him to where the low scrub still burned.

 

“Jensen” Jeez what was he going to find, he shook Allies hand off “Stay here”, she shook her head “Please, just stay here” She stopped, putting a hand over her mouth sobbing and nodding, she understood why. 

 

Jared resumed the climbing, nearly reaching point zero where the fire burnt fiercest in the helo’s wreckage, when he saw Jensen’s body. Lying close the outcrop in miraculously unburnt scrub, not moving, still as death, on his back, arms up and covering his face. He guessed the overhanging rock had stopped the spray of fuel and sent a thank you skywards.

 

Jumping the last few obstacles he slid to a stop next to Jensen, dropping to his knees, unspoken pleas in his head, all sorts of promises he was making, if only Jensen was still alive.

 

“Jensen” he shouted over the crackle of fire, pulling at his shirt, feeling for a pulse. “Jensen” a pulse, he had a pulse, no burns on his front, he couldn’t see burns. “Jensen” gently he rolled the older man on his side, checking his back for burns, nothing, feeling Jensen move in his arms.

 

“Jay” the older man's voice was low, gasping for air

 

“S’ok Jen, s’ok” thank you, thank you

 

"Allie..."

 

“She’s fine Jen, are you hurt?”

 

Jared helped Jensen sit up, watched as his face creased in pain “My chest” he breathed, sweat breaking on his face as he willed down the pain. “Nothing else … help me up”

 

Wheezing he was helped to his feet, standing for a moment as a dizzy sickness came over him.

 

“Jen” Jared started to hold him

 

”S’cool” Jensen pulled away, not wanting to be touched, just wanting to concentrate on willing away the pain. “We need to … move out, they … probably think we are … dead ... they may check”

 

“This way” Jared started to climb back down to Allie who stood at the bottom of the outcrop waiting for Jared to reappear, quickly Jared made it down to her, reassuring her with quick words and a hug.

 

Blindly, Jensen followed the younger man, every trip and every stumble sending fire in his chest, until finally he stood, Allie clutching at his hand, tears in her eyes, not saying a word.

 

Then they started to walk.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Michaela listened horrified. She had heard the explosion, watched as Max entered the tent, again dismissing the guards, and listed to the words he spoke, telling her that her eldest son and her daughter were dead. Max was sorry, so very sorry, but in the grand scheme of things, it was for the best. Michaela wanted to collapse, could feel her whole body going into shock, her heart broken, her head bursting with pain, but all she had to to do, all she could do, was stand in a kind of catatonic silence, in shock, no tears. 

 

Max reassured her it was going to be alright, they would find the bodies later, if there was anything left, after all fire was quite destructive, and they would bury them here, with a prayer.

 

He left.

 

Michaela crumpled to the floor, her legs no longer strong enough to hold her.

 

“Matthew” she forced out from deep in her heart “Ben”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Matthew was so close to finishing the translation, not sure if it was best to finish it for the threats to Michaela, or to delay its work because of his fear for Ben. 

 

He had heard the explosion and he tried to move to look but was encouraged back to his work at the point of a gun. No one claimed responsibility for the explosion, no one explained, just left him alone with his notes and the translations that were going too damn fast.

 

He couldn’t concentrate properly, trying to get an angle on getting away, finding Michaela and Ben, praying that Jared and Allie were safe somewhere.

 

“How close are you?” Max’s voice, behind him, he didn’t turn.

 

“It isn’t easy Max, this is ancient writing that has been eroded by water and wind, it’s difficult to match up to the journal.

 

“Matthew, Matthew, you don’t understand, I really don’t have time for excuses, Michaela’s time is running out, and I am getting impatient with Ben”

 

Matthew bit his tongue to stop himself from turning round and demanding that he could see his wife and his son.

 

“You have one hour Matthew, one hour and then Ben dies, cos all I really need is his blood” _Control, stay still, don't rise to it_

 

“Even if I do finish, my son still dies”

 

“Regrettably, but your wife will live, think of it as a win-win situation” Matthew heart was in his throat, he was running out of time to do something, anything, he needed more time. “You will have your full translation in the hour” he said still not turning.

 

“Good”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jensen worked his way closer to the camp, bit by bit he began to get a feel for layout and firepower. He only counted 8 men, but hadn’t seen anyone matching Max’s description. There were four tents, three of them guarded, Matthew, Michaela and hopefully Ben. He had watched for half an hour, not long enough to get a complete lay of the land but enough to start. He couldn’t see that anyone had been sent to check on the downed helo, that was a good start, and a plus on their side.

 

He shimmied back to where Jared and Allie sat waiting, desperate for news.

 

“I can’t see your parents or Ben, but there are three separate locations that I think they could be held.”

 

”And there are three of us” Allie supplied matter-of-factly. Both Jensen and Jared looked at her horrified.

 

“You are staying here” Jared snapped, he was not going to add his sister to the growing list of family members in trouble.

 

“No I am not” she snapped back, looking to Jensen for support, he looked into her steady brown eyes and nodded reluctantly.

 

“I need both of you” he said to a clearly frustrated Jared. “This is serious Jared”

 

“I know, but … Jensen … Jesus man … Allie … Ben”, Jensen stopped him with a raised hand, and just like that as hazel eyes met green, the argument was over.

 

“I can’t see that anyone has been sent to check on the helo” Jensen began.

 

”Not much left to check anyway” Allie provided, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.

 

“Nevertheless, they obviously think we are dead so we have the element of surprise”

 

“What are we gonna do?” This from Jared who was wriggling where he sat clearly eager to get on.

 

“I really don’t know … we have one gun and one knife between us”

 

”So we get another weapon … from a guard” Jensen smiled at what Jared suggested, he knew how to get to the crux of the matter, they really did need another weapon, Jensen just didn’t think it would be as easy as Jared described.

 

“That is my plan, but I think the best course of action is to see what is in these three tents”

 

“And we do that how?”

 

”By sneaking around the back and looking” Jensen smiled wryly.

 

”Shit Jensen” Jared scrubbed a hand over his face pushing long hair back from his eyes.

 

“They wont be looking for us.” Jensen pointed out.

 

“OK” Allie agreed looking to Jared who, in turn, was looking disapprovingly at Jensen his emotions and thoughts clear on his face.

 

“OK” he finally conceded, “Let’s do it”

 

The three of them slid-climbed down the slope to the tents, staying low and using the brush for cover. Jensen was finding the moving hard, finding breathing hard, but he was not going to let Jared see his pain. As it was Jared was constantly watching him, looking for the slightest sign that he was in pain, worrying about him.

 

They reached the bottom without being spotted and ended up very close to the back of the first guarded tent, Jensen scooting closer and leaning against the side listening intently. He couldn’t hear anything, but scouting out the site earlier had led him to believe that the guards were outside this tent, not inside. Gently he eased a seam apart, a hole big enough to see in, small enough not to be noticed, and peered into the gloom. Ben.

 

“S’Ben” he whispered back to Jared who started forward. Jensen held a hand out to stop him “I’ll get him”

 

He looked back in, like he thought, no inside guard. Just Ben. Ben curled up on his side on a pile of blankets, his back to Jensen. Carefully Jensen dropped to his knees and started to work the seam from the bottom up, making a hole big enough to crawl into the tent and over to the small figure of Ben. He leaned over him; placing a hand over his mouth to stop him screaming in fright as his eyes snapped open and try to focus on the smoke blackened face above him.

 

Jensen whispered urgently “S’me Jensen.”

 

Recognition lit in Ben’s eyes and he nodded under Jensen’s hold. When Jensen released him, Ben launched himself up and into Jensen’s arms, whimpering quietly into Jensen’s neck. Jensen shifted his gun to his left hand and held Ben tightly, crawling back to the makeshift exit and pushing the small boy out to his brother’s waiting arms.

 

No words were exchanged, but, briefly and silently, Jared and Allie hugged their little brother and reassured him with touches and looks. 

 

Jensen indicated the second tent and watched as Jared picked Ben up in his arms nodding in agreement.

 

The second tent was a little more tricky, not only were they on a time scale in case Ben’s disappearance was noticed, but the journey to the back of the second tent meant being exposed for a small fraction of time. Somehow they made it across and Jensen repeated his quick look through the seam, this time they had Michaela but she had a guard in with her, not good. Did he take the guard out and try and get Michaela out or did he move on to Matthew?

 

Then he spotted the laptop, a way to call for help, and the papers spread across the table, it just had to be this tent next. He gestured to Jared and whispered instructions in his ear, persuading him to move back and away in case this all went wrong, Jared looked at him stubbornly, but then caved in almost immediately when he realised the responsibility he had to Ben and Allie, nodding and agreeing he would stay back. 

 

Dropping to his knees he again started to slip the seam watching carefully for the guard to move, tension curling in his stomach. To knock the guard out meant so many factors coming together, and Jensen was beginning to doubt he could do this, his breathing ragged but quiet, his head pounding. With the seam loosened, Jensen guessed his next move was to get Michaela’s attention; she was close to him, the guard standing by the laptop, his back to Michaela. 

 

Gently Jensen tossed in a small pebble, hitting her in the lap. Confused she looked around until her eyes focused on the seam and Jensen. She nearly gasped but caught herself. Stealthily Jensen moved in through the seam rising to his full height and dealing with the guard before he had a chance to move or make a sound. Catching the guard and resting him down on the ground he sensed rather that saw Michaela move to the laptop, he turned and watched as she powered it up, typing something into an email and sending it. 

 

They watched in silence as the message bar indicated sent and then with unspoken agreement grabbed the laptop and crawled back out through the space.

 

There was no shouted reunion, no laughter, no tears, just a quiet happiness as Michaela touched each child in turn, lingering on Ben just a few seconds longer.

 

Jensen leaned into Jared “take them and go back up into the scrub” he said, Jared made as if to argue, but Jensen silenced him with a small kiss dropped on his lips and a reassuring squeeze to his arm “get them safe, I wont be long” Jared nodded and gathered up his family in a group guiding them away from the tented area. Jensen breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Stop” Jensen’s blood froze as he turned to face the voice

 

“Drop your weapon, stay where you are” Another spoke, his gun trained on Jensen.

 

“Hmmm, Jared, Allie, and the bodyguard … hard people to kill I see”


	10. Chapter 10

And that there?

 

That was the point that Jensen lost it.

 

With three guns trained on him, and more importantly not on the family, he slumped defeated, his posture small, his gun hanging loosely by his side.

 

And then he moved.

 

Surprise was on his side, two of the armed guards were unconscious before anyone actually realised Jensen had moved, it was all so sudden, the third fell with a bullet in his thigh. With practiced moves and precise positioning, he hit out time after time, feeling a bullet lodging in his arm, feeling it push him sideways, but he was not going to let his physical body get in the way of taking these bastards down. He centred himself, pushing forwards, breathing deeply, his chest and arm on fire.

 

A fourth, a fifth, shot as they ran towards the melee until six men lay either unconscious or seemingly dead at Jensen’s feet. Two more and Max, two more and Max, two more and Max.

 

Find Matthew, get the family to one of the helo’s ... get them out. Throw Jared a gun. Jared, get them to a helo. Jensen backs away, backs towards the family, a gun in each hand, Ben cowering behind him, gripping his shirt, he senses Michaela and Allie with Jared as they move.

 

Where is Matthew? The other tent. Ducking behind the tent, Ben is still holding on to him, go with Jared Ben, go with your brother. Ben is refusing, holding tighter, stand behind me Ben, stand behind me.

 

Jensen enters the tent, a gun is pointing at Matthew’s head, Max.

 

Jensen levels his gun at Max, at Max’s head, an impasse.

 

Silence.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“Very impressive” Max said gently “I knew you had it in you Lieutenant”

 

“Drop the gun Max” Jensen said clearly

 

“Hmmm,” Max replied, tipping his head to one side thoughtfully, "no".

 

“Drop the gun and I will fly you out of here” Jensen offered, pushing Ben further behind him so that his body solely covered the younger boy.

 

“You know, and I know, that is not going to happen, I am not getting out of here in one piece, now am I?”

 

“You have a choice here Max”

 

“I choose to stand here with a gun at my friends head”

 

Silence, each man lost in his own head, Max inscrutable … Jensen’s face carefully blank, the grip on his gun firm and sure. Jensen knew there was only one way to get the family out of their safe. It was not a decision he had to make, his responsibility was to the Padalecki’s.

 

Max deserved to die.

 

Jensen started to lower his gun, watching as Max relaxed slightly, sensing Jensen’s obvious capitulation, and then in a smooth move Jensen focused and pulled the trigger, the bullet found it’s mark before Max could take his next breath, and finally it was over. 

 

Matthew staggered under the weight of his dead kidnapper, before pushing him off to gather Ben in his arms.

 

“Jensen, Michaela”

 

“Michaela is with Jared and Allie, we need to move, there are still at least two of Max’s men unaccounted for.” The three of them stumbled past Max’s body, Matthew hiding Ben’s view of the dead man, and with Jensen covering them, they ran towards the two helos, Jensen pushing them into the cover as a bullet grazed his arm and buried itself in the Helo door.

 

Turning swiftly, he dropped to a crouch, aiming and firing cleanly, the seventh guard sent writhing to the floor clutching his stomach. Diving into the helo he fired her up, impatient at the wait for the rotors to get to speed. Christ knows where number eight was.

 

“Where is help” Michaela screamed over the noise of the rotors.

 

“I don’t know” Jensen bit back, concentrating on lifting the bird into the sky, watching as below them the eighth man appeared sending shots wildly at the helicopter, cracking glass, and impacting metal, before fading to a small dot behind them.

 

“Is everyone OK,” Jensen shouted urgently

 

“Mom” Jared’s voice, Jensen turned in the seat, Jared.

 

Jared clutching at his chest, blood between his fingers, his eyes rolling back in his head.

 

“No. Jared. Matt help me, I need to stop the bleeding, Jensen” this from Michaela, desperately pushing against Jared’s chest to stop the bleeding, Jared coughing … coughing blood.

 

Desperately Jensen pushed the helo, in the direction of Panama, pushing the helo, pushing past his fear, his chest on fire, and his heart broken. He tuned out the crying, the panic, and the blood. Focused on the hospital, looking for a landing area, focusing, praying.

 

Landing, calling for help, Jared being ripped from his Mom’s arms, into the hospital, disappearing and lost to Jensen.

 

“Jensen, Jensen, your arm, you need to …”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

When Jensen regained consciousness it was to the Padaleckis at his bedside.

 

“Go sit with Jay” he croaked painfully. 

 

He saw them look at each other, uncertain, broken, at the tears in their eyes, and he knew he had failed; Jared was dead. 

 

Jensen wanted to die.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Help did arrive at the site, about ten minutes after the escape, they gathered up what they could, the laptop, the papers, the bodies and any evidence of what had happened. 

 

They moved it all. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared regained consciousness slowly, spread out over a day, mumbling under drugs, talking nonsense, quieting as he felt his family around him. A confusion of sounds and light that burnt into his retina. He had one word that he needed to push out. Past all the concerns about how he got shot, why, where, how. Just one word.

 

Jensen.

 

No one told him anything. They reassured him, they told him he was OK. Jared wanted to see him. Jensen is being debriefed. I want to see him. Soon Jared, soon.

 

Jared turned 20 when he was still unconscious.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The plane touched down smoothly on the lake, gentle ripples extending from the landing, washing the shore and rocking the plane slightly.

 

“Jensen, Jensen” he turned as he watched Deek run down the jetty, parcels and letters in hand, “Another letter” his new friend said. Jensen’s heart lifted, another letter, from Jared.

 

Enthused he settled the plane and jumped out, tying her to the jetty and eyeing her with pride, Jackles Supplies had thrived in this area, where neighbours would have twenty miles between them and trips to the grocery store happened once a quarter. He delivered and collected, took lists, helped in medical emergencies. In fact he became a one-stop shop for transport and he ate apple pies in lieu of money until he was sick. He rarely asked for money anyway, the bonuses that Matthew Padalecki had passed to him would keep him secure and comfortable for many years to come.

 

When he had discovered that Jared was actually still alive he had joined the vigil at the Padaleckis side, pulled into the group dynamic, joining them in praying for his survival. It had been touch and go for many days. The bullet had lodged itself near his heart and it took three surgeries to remove it. Jared was lucky. Apparently the bullet had glanced off of the helo itself, which had dampened some of the force, but still … that close to his heart…

 

Jensen shuddered to even think about it.

 

When he knew Jared was on the mend he had left. He didn’t speak to Jared. He couldn’t speak to Jared.

 

He moved to his version of Alaska, wilderness and community, using his money to buy a plane, a cabin ... an idealistic version of peace. And there he lived, quietly and carefully, making friends, building a life for himself. The only thing missing was Jared. But Jared had to make his own choice and Jensen wasn’t going to push it.

 

Jared wrote the first letter when he was still in hospital, when Jensen was still in hotels. It was hand delivered by someone who shouldn’t really know where Jensen was, but he accepted that the Padalecki money could buy an awful lot of things.

 

His first letter was pleading. _Come back Jensen, I need you, I love you …_

 

The second letter was pleading _I love you …_

 

The third was resigned, _Jensen I know you are not coming back, but I love you, you are an idiot, I know you love me too_

 

The fourth was resigned and held a veiled threat _I love you, you bastard, and I will come and find you as soon as I am out of hospital._

 

Jensen replied to this one, _please don’t come here Jared, stay with your family, heal at home, I am not what you need, I have seen too much in my life, killed too many people, I have stuff to sort out, to get over, leave me alone_

 

The fifth letter from Jared just held one word … _No_

 

The next letter was detailed; it spoke of rehab, lung damage and missing Jensen all in the same breath. The excitement in the letter was palpable … _they’re letting me out … 2 days dude and I am home._ Jensen had smiled at this, knowing Jared would be happy, imagining his smiles, his puppy eyes.

 

He wrote back, this time a letter detailing his own life, his own fears, he even talked a bit about Keiran, not going into too much detail, just explaining why his brother’s death sent him to the Navy, into flying, and how it was moulding his personality with a fear of the future.

 

The letters had stopped after that one, Jensen sensed he had gone too far. Well, better Jared knew now what he was up against, than months down the line. He hadn’t received a letter in two months, and it was now six months since the whole legend mess had been resolved with the death of Max.

 

But today, coming home from a supplies run to find a letter and a parcel from Jared? Well he was intrigued to say the least.

 

He crossed to his cabin, close to the shore, where he could see his plane from the window, rustic and part of the woods around him.

 

The letter first…

 

_Hey Jen,_

_My last rehab today, man am I pleased to get rid of Attila the physio, jeez, you don’t know the meaning of pain until you have had her, good news is, no referred pain in my right arm now, I have all the movement back in it from the bullet hitting the muscles and nerves, and my chest is clear. Apparently I need to do important stuff on a daily basis but Attila has given me a sheet I need to follow so it’ll be OK._

_Spoke to Dad today, he says you are doing well, that you are happy and living your dream up there in the wilderness, I am envious, I only have one dream and that is to be with you, guess that’ll have to wait a while eh?_

_I sent you a present. I kind of had time to fill when I was in the hospital, and back at home, and I got around to writing some stuff down. Mom and Dad worked hard on this, think it will make a stir in academia, not so sure it’ll hit number one of the fiction lists anytime soon. Hope you like though._

_I am planning a trip up your way, dad said not to warn you, but I needed to, I don’t think I could face a full on rejection without actually talking to you and seeing you face to face. I’m 20 now you know (ever hopeful this will make a difference to you) so I think I am old enough to decide who I am in love with, despite all that bull you gave dad and mom when I was unconscious. I know you are like nearly 25 but..._

_Anyway Jen, I’m going, I have travel arrangements to make, talk to you soon._

_Love Jared_

 

Jensen turned the envelope over; it was postmarked the week before. Jeez, with the Padalecki money Jay could be here now. _Don’t panic._

 

Lifting the box he opened it and pulled out a hardback notebook entitled ‘The Neemus markings and their uses, by Matthew, Michaela and Jared Padalecki’.

 

Hmmm dry, but yeah, academics would love it.

 

Jensen was filled with a sense of pride before the panic returned.

 

Jared was coming. 

 

Here…


	11. Chapter 11

It was another two days before Jared arrived.

 

It was a crisp clear lunchtime and Jensen had been up since 5am, unable to sleep, thinking for so long about what he was going to say when he actually saw him again. The more he thought, the more he realised just how much he had missed Jared, it would be good to see him again. Despite the discussion they needed to have.

 

He had spent much of the time waiting for Jared’s arrival wandering around the cabin, cleaning, tidying, sorting, making room in the spare room for a visitor, but changing the sheets on the master bed at the same time. Just in case.

 

He heard the plane a long time before he could see it and pulling on a jacket started the short walk down the jetty, watching as the bird swooped onto the lake, finally coming to a stop on the other side of the jetty. Ironically it was the model Jensen had lusted after, it made sense rich boy would have access to the best, and it made him smile. 

 

He waited, heart in his mouth, trying to stand casually, trying to look as if he hadn’t been waiting for two days, digging his hands in his deep pockets. There was a delay and then the side door opened, out came two bags and a large box, followed swiftly by six four of Jared. He stood, blinking in the midday sunlight at last focusing on Jensen, and the widest smile crossed his face. Turning back he said something to someone inside the plane and the steps retreated, the door closing. That done Jared turned back to Jensen and crossed to him standing inches from him, so close it made Jensen uneasy and he felt impelled to move back. 

 

“Good to see you Jen” Jared said simply, smiling that insane smile of his and Jensen winced as he realised that he had at least expected a kiss or a hug or something from Jared, not just the smile. But no, Jared just spun away, picked up his bags and struggled to pick up the heavy box which Jensen immediately lifted from him.

 

“Good to see you too Jared” he called after the younger man.

 

“Show me my room” Jared asked bouncing along beside him, his eyes taking in the environment, the trees, the water, the cabin, the simple peace. It suited Jensen.

 

“Your… erm ... your room” Jared’s room, Jared’s room on his own

 

“Yeah, my room, I’m intending on staying Jensen”

 

”How long for Jay?”

 

“As long as it takes Jen, as long as it takes … fab place dude …you happy here?” God, quick change of subject.

 

“Yeah, very happy” you wouldn’t be happy here, just leave

 

Jensen dropped the large box in the hallway and showed Jared his room and left after Jared suggested he met him downstairs in five. Jensen was pleased for the break.

 

He went downstairs, his head spinning, Jesus he had never seen anything as gorgeous as Jared stepping off the plane, it took his breath away … the level and power of the feelings he had for him, feelings he thought he could dampen down, keep under control, until Jared saw how much better off he’d be without him. But, one look at the taller man, looking skinnier, but brown, his hair soft and flicking round his face, gentle hazel eyes sparkling, he was just blown away. All his resolve disappeared as soon as Jared had stepped off the plane.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The door closed behind Jensen, and Jared’s smile dropped as he slumped on to the bed. This is not going to work. All Jared wanted to do was grab Jensen and reel him in for kissing and touching. Holding back and taking it slow? Proving he was a responsible twenty-year-old who could do relationships, not just do sex, could be an adult? That was going to be so damn difficult. He had decided on the flight here that he would avoid all alcohol and any and all situations that involved taking clothes off. That should make it easier. Pulling himself together and pushing his hair back away from his face he looked at himself in the mirror. Perhaps he should have had his hair cut? Something a bit more … well a bit more grown up? Less flicky and girly and … flicky. He sighed, straightened his back and opened the door, the grin back in place as he bounced down the stairs.

 

Jensen watched him descend, a wry look of amusement on his face “Beer?” he asked “Yeah” Jared answered taking the proffered beer. Well shit there goes resolution one. He followed Jensen out on to the porch where there were scattered chairs, welcoming the chance to sit and look, at the water and the trees, ideal time for talking about stuff. Important stuff.

 

“So, how’re the ribs?”

 

“Good”

 

“Busted?”

 

”Yeah, cracked, nothing too awful, you?”

 

”Yeah the chest is fine, the arm’s fine”

 

“How’s Ben and Allie?”

 

”Ben’s cool, seems to have filed it as an adventure, someone at the school though is kinda talking to him, giving him support”

 

“That’d good”

 

”Allie’s happy too, she had a boyfriend you know”

 

“Allie? Who, which boy”

 

“This guy at school, Adam or something”

 

”Did you check him out”

 

”Relax I checked him out”

 

“She’s only 16 - ”

 

“Jen, she’s fine, misses you though”

 

”Hmph”

 

”She had the most enormous crush on you”

 

“Yeah right”

 

”Seriously dude, big crush, she saw us in the kitchen you know”

 

“Wha?”

 

”Just kissing, just kissing, but she told me it was cool”

 

“What, seeing us kissing?”

 

”Nah, us being together”

 

”We weren’t together”

 

”Well I was”

 

”You can’t be together on your own”

 

”Well you were just in denial”

 

“Hmph”

 

“Mom and dad say hi”

 

”Cool”

 

“So what do people do for fun round here?” Beside jumping your bones?

 

“Talk, relax, read, swim”

 

“Swim, cool, let’s go” Jared stood; placing his empty bottle next to his chair, which Jensen instantly moved mumbling about sunlight and fire. Jared stopped as he watched that fine ass when Jensen bent over, a sudden horrified feeling starting in his stomach, swimming … no clothes … shit. Well, here goes nothing. Swiftly he removed boots, jeans and his T-shirt, leaving just his boxers, shivering slightly in the crisp air.

 

“S’gonna be cold” Jensen managed to grind out after almost swallowing his tongue at the site of near naked Jared.

 

“It’ll make men of us” Jared smiled and started down the end of the jetty, waiting. He wasn’t going to jump in until he knew it was deep enough, which was kinda proven when Jensen jumped in, in his boxers, coming up for air and exchanging profanities with the icy water. Jared took one look at Jensen and launched himself out and away from the jetty, the freezing water dropping his body temperature suddenly, and he rose to the surface coughing and spluttering, repeating some of Jensen’s more colourful expletives. Jensen immediately looked concerned, making his way over to Jared and grabbing his arm, ready to drag him out and perform CPR.

 

”Your heart, your ..”

 

”I’m fine, all fixed, Jensen I’m fine, it’s just bloody cold” and with a deep breath he ducked under the water and away from Jensen’s hold, leaving the older man unsure and slightly worried.

 

Under the water Jared was cursing himself, one touch that is all it took. Looking at Jensen, seeing the scars from the bullets he took for Jared, and Jared’s family, his hard muscled body, those hands that had so capably kept them alive. Jeez he was so far gone and he seriously didn’t know how long he could stay grown up if the blood rushing to his dick was anything to go by, thank god for the cold water.

 

They swam around the dock, taking turns to duck each other and generally keeping moving because, seriously, it was damn cold. They dived and circled, up until Jared’s stomach told him it was time for food

 

“You are always hungry” Jensen grumbled, secretly pleased to have a reason to get out of the water. They climbed out, freezing water dripping from sodden hair.

 

“There is a lot of me to keep full” Jared defended “Anyways, apparently I need to fatten up a bit, hospital food screws you”

 

“I would’ve thought you’d be in some private hospital somewhere with your own wing and a chef” Jensen smirked

 

Jared had the grace to blush “Well, not a chef, but a wing, kinda.” Jensen just snorted and smiled. “But hey, at the end of the day it was kinda lonely. Just me and the security guards”

 

”Nurses?”

 

”All female” Jared confirmed glumly “Not one hot nurse in sight”

 

“You poor thing” Jensen couldn’t stop smiling, he had missed this easy bantering between them.

 

“I did my writing though. The letters to you, and the journal.” Jared pointed out sincerely.

 

“I liked the letters” Jensen admitted shyly as they reached the front door of the cabin. “And the book”

 

”You read the book”

 

”Yeah, cover to cover, I didn’t get a lot of it in places, but yeah, it was good” 

 

Jared look inordinately pleased with himself. “For that wonderful review …” he started, smirking “… you can have first dibs on the shower”

 

“Man, I had first dibs anyway, it’s my shower” Still Jared smirked and dropped down at the kitchen table, catching a towel that Jensen threw to him, and proceeding to dry his hair, shivering and stretching to warm his muscles. He stopped himself from joining Jensen in the shower. Just made do with his imagination. If all went according to plan he had the rest of his life to join Jensen in the shower.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

After his shower and whilst Jared was in the bathroom Jensen pulled together coffee and sandwiches, which would keep them going until dinner, and sat at the kitchen counter waiting for Jared to come down. Touching him in the water had shaken him, to think there was any vulnerability in Jared, in his Jared, it scared him. He shouldn’t be scared about Jared, Jared should be living a good life, away from guns and violence, but every time he looked at him his head told him Jared wouldn’t sit well with being hidden away somewhere for his own good. 

 

Jared didn’t take long in the shower and before Jensen knew it, he was there, sat opposite him, eating sandwiches and drinking coffee and talking about stuff. Just stuff. Anything and everything. Jensen tried to listen, he was good at listening normally, but he was distracted. Distracted by the slant to Jared’s hazel eyes, the the mouth that just never stopped moving, the long neck and his hands. Hands that flew in all directions, emphasising words, punctuating sentences, shaping images in front of Jensen. 

 

Jared had so much energy, how could Jensen even think for one minute that he would be happy here, in the wilderness. He had to make him leave, had to make him understand.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared was confused. After the swim it seemed like everything was going OK, there was even gentle flirting - which he liked. But then, halfway through the sandwiches and coffee Jensen just shut down. It was so obvious. His smile dropped, his eyes became guarded and thoughtful, his answers less frequent. Jared wasn’t sure what he had said; he didn’t remember anything too controversial, mostly funny stories about Ben and Allie and the ongoing Mario championship. He had told Jensen about the flashlight that Ben took to bed with him every night, the same flashlight that Jensen had given him on ‘the adventure’ as Ben called it, maybe it was that? Maybe it was memories…

 

“Jensen, do you ever think about what happened after the crash”

 

“No” OK, closed answer to a really closed question.

 

“What I meant to say was … how do you think they did it? I mean got explosives attached to the engine?” Jensen looked confused, it had all been in his report, all of the investigation, the link to the Mall shooting, the crash, all detailed and laid out in chronological order. 

 

“Did you not see the report?” He asked frowning.

 

“Nah, dad said it wasn’t important, just a load of dry facts, I wanna know what YOU think, I mean how did Max get so many people to support him, to help him?”

 

”Money Jared. Money. He paid people to do these things, amazing what loyalties can be bought with excess money.” Jensen looked Jared in the eye, daring him to make something of that statement. Jared sat quiet for a few moments, processing the statement, his eyes dimming and his shoulders slumping.

 

“Is that how you see it Jen? Is that how you see us? That I am buying you somehow, buying love, like some spoiled kid?” Jensen frowned, Jared’s words seemed so lost, so young.

 

“No, I see you are 20, with your whole life ahead of you, and I can’t for the life of me see what you want with me.” Jensen stood abruptly; leaving Jared sat staring at his coffee “I need to check orders” he added in way of explanation and left.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared stared into his coffee for all of two minutes, then the normal Padalecki service resumed and inspiration hit. He moved into the front room, the one with the best views of the lake and started to move furniture. The sofa was awkward and difficult to pull along the wooden floors, but he managed it. He pushed an occasional table to one side and stopped, eyeing the space in front of the window critically. Then he retrieved the large box from the hallway and opened it, emptying the pieces of the flat pack desk onto the floor and turning the allen key that came with the desk over in his hand. 

 

It took half an hour, but finally unwinding himself from his scrunched up position on the floor, he righted the table and set it in front of the views. Bounding up the stairs he collected his laptop and grabbed a chair from the mismatched collection in the kitchen. Setting the laptop on the desk he plugged it into the wall, shimmied into the seat, moving until he was comfortable, and turned it on.

 

“We don’t get broadband” Jensen’s voice from behind him, no comment on the furniture moving, or the desk, that is a good start.

 

“I kind of have a satellite”

 

“A satellite link”

 

”Uhm, a satellite”

 

“OK”

 

“M’OK”

 

“So what you doing?”

 

”Writing”

 

”Writing what”

 

”My novel”

 

”Your novel”

 

”Yep, my novel”

 

“About what”

 

”Stuff”

 

”Stuff. What kind of stuff”

 

Jared blushed “Adventure stuff”

 

“Adventure stuff”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“OK”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared wrote for quite a while, lost in thought, unable to focus on anything except the words in his head. 

 

He was conscious of Jensen. Saw him move down to the plane, tinkering with the engine, pulling bits out, putting stuff in, he was aware when Jensen suggested steaks for dinner, he acknowledged him with a ‘yeah awesome’ but it took Jensen actually pulling him up by the arm to get him to go eat.

 

Taking the caps off two beers Jensen handed Jared a beer and a plate of food and indicated they should sit on the porch. Jared followed, his head still in his book until he tasted the first bite of the steak and then his head was definitely in eating mode.

 

“Didn’t know you could cook” Jared pointed out

 

“I can survive” Jensen smirked.

 

“Mmmm”

 

“So Jay, the book …” Jared blushed again, oh my god, so damn cute.

 

“I kind of enjoyed the writing, I want to give novel writing a go”

 

“Well you’re bound to get it published” with your money and contacts

 

“I’m gonna write it under another name, if it’s complete crap I want to know”

 

“Cool” Jensen offered in way of apology for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

 

“Jensen?” Shit, that was Jared’s serious voice.

 

“Uh huh?”

 

“I’m staying man, I’m staying here to write my book, I’m staying with you. I am going to prove to you I can make my own decisions, I am going to show you how much I love you, how much I want to be with you”

 

“Jared - ”

 

“No Jen, listen to me, really listen to me…” Jensen nodded carefully, thoughtfully “I want to jump you right now, I want to bury myself in you, I want you to show me how good it could be between us. I missed you so damn much, can’t imagine life without you.” Jared stood, tension in his spine “But if it takes me not touching you, to convince you I am making a rational non-sex related decision then fine, I wont kiss you, or touch you, or want you, or need you”

 

Jensen stood as well, definite fear in his eyes “It won't last Jared”

 

”What wont? Me loving you?”

 

”Yeah, I’m in the middle of nowhere, I don’t do parties, and socialising, and people, you can't just live on love alone”

 

”It wouldn’t be alone, I have my writing, I can write from anywhere”

 

“Your writing” Jensen sneered, his defenses starting to rise again

 

Jared looked hurt momentarily “Yeah my writing” he said in a small voice.

 

Guilt tore through Jensen “I’m sorry Jay, I don’t mean to belittle the writing, I just cant see it working.” Jared smiled, moving into the kitchen with his plate and the empty beer bottle

 

“We’ll see” he said softly and returned to his desk.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The no touching thing? 

 

That lasted two whole days. It wasn’t deliberate. It wasn’t calculated. But when Jensen slipped on spilt orange juice that Jared had just dropped and Jared caught the older man in a Jared hug they couldn’t avoid touching. Jensen’s eyes narrowed, Jared dropped him unceremoniously to the floor.

 

Great start

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The no wanting thing?

 

That lasted a couple of hours longer.

 

When Jared went to use the bathroom and met a towel wrapped Jensen leaving the same room, steam from a shower leaving with him.

 

Jared couldn’t stop himself, running his eyes slowly up and then down Jensen’s near naked body. Jensen paused. Jared gulped, pushed past him and shut the bathroom door behind him. Palming his erection and willing it away.

 

Way to go Padalecki

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The no needing thing?

 

Well, that was well and truly stomped on at some ungodly hour of the morning when Jared woke from the most explicit dream featuring wet Jensen and a towel. God he needed him. So so bad.

 

Shit, that only left the no kissing thing

 

Surely that was going to be easy

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Breakfast was as normal, Jensen catching up on orders, planning routes over coffee and cereal, Jared devouring two bowls of cereal, eggs, bacon and toast.

 

“We need to get more food.” Jensen pointed out dryly.

 

“Sorry man” was all Jared offered, “I’ll pay my way, I’ll get some cash organised”

 

“OK” Jensen was not going to argue with the millionaire’s son. “Cool”

 

“What you up to today?”

 

”A supply and medicine run to the upper hundreds” he said, “and then on to Friarscroft for our food”

 

“Can I come with?”

 

“What about the writing?”

 

”I’m kinda wanting some input in the food you buy us man”

 

”What is wrong with my food?” Jensen’s pouted, Jared swore Jensen pouted and he just couldn’t stop himself. Sitting half up in his chair he leaned over, grabbing a quick ,soft, unsettling kiss before sitting back down. 

 

Jensen looked gobsmacked, but didn’t say a word.

 

So the kissing thing? Screwed.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

They climbed in the plane, Jared hesitating momentarily.

 

“You’re not gonna crash this one are ya?” Jared asked sneakily

 

For his troubles Jensen smacked him round the back of the head.

 

“Idiot” he said “Buckle up”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jared settled back on the porch seat, his stomach full, a half eaten bag of candy in his lap and a beer in his hand. Perfect.

 

“How can one person consume so much candy and not make themselves sick?” Jensen commented with a smile on his face.

 

“Hollow legs, hollow legs”

 

”One day it will catch up with you stretch and you’ll just be fat”

 

“Happy and fat, happy and fat” Jared laughed, closing his eyes and relaxing his head back. Totally at peace.

 

Jensen just watched. Jared seemed so … so … so grown up. So adult in his decisions, not spoilt, not angry, not pushy, just calm, centred. He watched him for ages, as the love he felt for him stared to seep past the walls, started to make his heart beat faster.

 

“Jay” he said finally

 

“Hmmm” Jared didn’t open his eyes

 

“Are you really serious about this?”

 

“About the whole I am in love with Jensen Ackles and want to live with him in the wilderness writing books thing?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Of course”

 

“What if it doesn’t work?”

 

”What if it does? What scares you more?”

 

“Can we just like, take it slow?”

 

”Just kissing?”

 

“Yeah”

 

”And hugging?”

 

“Yeah”

 

”And a small bit of heavy petting?” Still Jared hadn’t open his eyes

 

”Yeah, just a small bit”

 

“How about blow jobs, can I drop to my knees and suck you? Kiss you, make you shout? Can we do that?”

 

”Jared” Jensen whined

 

“Can we?” Jared opened his eyes, looking straight as a blushing Jensen.

 

“Yeah” Jensen whispered

 

“Can we start now?” Jared stood holding out his hand. This is where Jensen had to decide, to try or not to try.

 

“Yeah” he said simply, letting himself be pulled up, resting briefly against the younger man before guiding him inside and up to his bedroom.

 

“In here?” Jared questioned, this was big, Jensen’s room, Jensen’s bed.

 

“Yeah in here”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

They simply stood for a long time, holding hands, looking, smiling … blushing.

 

It was Jensen that made the first move.

 

Finally.


	12. Chapter 12

It wasn’t a dramatic move. Just a simple kiss on closed lips. Gentle and careful. He pulled back.

 

“I missed you Jay” he whispered. Jared just smiled that Jared smile, and cupped the older man’s face, tilting it leftways dropping his mouth towards Jensen, sucking on Jensen’s lower lip, pulling the lip, nibbling gently and touching the small bites with his tongue. Carefully he pushed the tip of his tongue into Jensen’s parting lips, darting in and tasting Jen, swallowing the groan from Jensen’s mouth as tongues met and the kisses became hotter, desperate and searching. 

 

Jared didn’t move his hands, just held Jensen, and it was all Jensen could do to hold on to the younger man, twisting his hands into the back of Jared’s T-shirt, pulling the material in a need to keep grounded. The kisses changed in style as lips parted and Jared started to kiss-suck tiny bites down Jensen’s jaw and to his neck, paying particular attention to his pulse point, sucking harder, drawing blood to the surface and Jen just felt his bones melt as Jared marked him. 

 

Jared kissed his way back up the older man’s neck. Not having had a lot of practise at this, he wasn’t really sure if what he was doing was pleasurable, but if the noises Jensen was making low in his throat were anything to go by, then he must be getting something right.

 

He dropped a kiss on each of Jensen’s eyelids feeling the eyelashes, impossibly long, every touch sending a shiver through him.

 

“I missed you too…” Jared whispered against heated skin “… so much that sometimes it just hurt” and then he captured Jensen’s soft kissed-red lips in a kiss of possession. 

 

Jensen didn’t just stand there. He had bunched Jared’s T-shirt up and slid his hands around to touch muscles, to follow hard planes, dipping down to the waste band and sliding up to search out hard nipples, feeling for the scar, touching the point where the bullet entered and nearly took Jared from him. Tears started in his eyes, he felt them run down his face, choking him even as he desperately kissed Jared, dueled with tongues, practically fucking each other’s mouths.

 

Jared pulled back needing air, needing skin, seeing the tears

 

“Jen, Jen I’m sorry, what did I do?” He pulled Jensen into a hug nestling his head against his throat. “Tell me, Jen”

 

“I .. I was unconscious, they looked … I … I thought you were dead … thought I’d failed.” _Like I failed to keep Kieran alive._

 

“I’m here Jen, I’m here” Jared reassured him, bending his head, catching the tears on his tongue as they collected in the kiss.

 

The kiss turned again, soft and insistent as Jensen pushed Jared back towards the bed, falling together in a heap, laughing and wriggling.

 

“Jeans off” Jensen ordered, and he watched as Jared shimmied the jeans off, inch by torturous inch, watched but didn’t touch

 

“Is this the kissing or the cuddling part” Jared breathed, Jensen placed a hand over Jared’s mouth

 

“No talking Jay, screaming, shouting, yes, but no smart ass comments or questions, no making me laugh, agreed?”

 

Jared made a muffled noise of agreement and Jensen could feel Jared’s grin under his hand, releasing it and swallowing the grin in go. Fumbling the rest of Jared’s jeans down over his hips his hands went to his own jeans, fiddling with the button and the fly and pulling them down enough to release the pressure on his dick. 

 

Jared helped to pull them down further until only the thin material of their boxers separated them, Jensen pushed down against the younger man, twisting, resting his weight on his arms, muscles bunched under Jared’s hands. Jared reached his face up to steal kisses, arching his back into Jensen, dropping one of hands to reach down between them, pushing past the flimsy material and closing round Jensen’s heat. 

 

So hard, so smooth, so soft to touch, he ran his hand clumsily along the length, wishing he could get a better hold. He whined low in his throat and wriggled under Jensen but the bastard just chuckled ignoring the pleas and thrusting his hips once, twice, in the circle of Jared’s hand. The next few minutes was hot and clumsy, trying to discard jeans and T-shirts and boxers without letting go, without stopping kissing, but it was singularly the hottest thing Jensen had ever experience. 

 

He wanted to tell Jared just that, wanted to explain how he felt, all that came out was, _fucking hot_ , and he continued to taste hot sun browned skin with open mouthed kisses. Slowly he moved down the length of Jared focusing on one single point but Jared was too quick, pulling and flipping and pushing Jensen on his back.

 

“Toppy bastard” Jensen smirked as Jared began his own journey slowly down from arched neck to stomach, stopping on the way down to suck and pull on nipples, the garbled moans and pleas Jensen making going straight to Jared's impossibly hard dick. His hands gripped into Jensen’s hips, digging hard, his teeth digging into the skin as the hip bone disappeared into the groin. Jensen arched into him.

 

_Jeez fuck Jared._

 

And then with no ceremony Jared dropped his head to Jensen’s dick, mouthing and sucking, pulling the head between his lips, kissing and licking the length, closing his lips tight, sucking, moving, his head full of the gasps and words that Jensen shouted above him.

 

Hollowing his cheeks he set up a rhythm of hands and lips and tongue, until Jensen’s hips stuttered and Jared heard Jensen’s plea, his warning, which he ignored, wanting to taste him, swallowing every drop, kitten licking as Jensen had done to him in the kitchen that time, until Jensen pulled him up, too sensitive for touch. He pulled Jared in for a sloppy messy kiss, tasting himself in Jared’s mouth.

 

“Jared, fuck, that was so hot”

 

”Not bad for the first time then?” Jensen just groaned, what was he going to be like with practise? 

 

“Jared, what you do to me, you get inside my head, you take over every one of my senses. I want you to make love to me, I want you to hold me down and I want you inside me”

 

”Jen, shit” Jared was speechless, he never even thought of the mechanics of the whole thing, he was so hard he felt he was going to explode “I’ve never, well I mean I’ve never even … shit Jen”

 

“We’ll do it together …” Jensen started shyly “… it’s just I like it both ways and I wanted … I want you”

 

“Where … how do I start” God if Jensen touched him now he was so going to explode.

 

“You need to open me up, I’ll start, watch, you can help” Jensen slicked his fingers, reaching behind and sinking a finger into the first knuckle biting his lip concentration on his face, moving in a second, a third, scissoring, moving.

 

“Jensen, fuck, you are so hot fucking yourself…

 

“Your hands Jared” he breathed, “…use your fingers, open me up, I’m so close to losing it here” Jensen wasn’t lying, his dick hard and ready again, so bloody soon.

 

Jared buried his fingers next to Jensen’s his heart in his mouth, crooking his fingers, Jen arching up to him as if electric was running through his body. They continued like this, Jensen writhing, Jared learning.

 

“Now Jared, now, I’m ready”

 

Jensen removed his fingers, pulling a pillow from behind and spreading his legs, guiding Jared down, until he was there, pushing, Jensen pulling him in.

 

“My turn next time” he breathed as Jared settled deep inside him.

 

“M’okay” Jared replied, lost in the sensation of moving into his lover, wondering at the strength of the feelings spiraling inside of him, the sensation of heat and tight and _oh so fucking good._ They moved together, both so close, Jared lost it first, he had waited so long, shouting Jensen’s name, his hand closing round Jensen, setting a rhythm until Jensen came hot and wet over his hand, Jared’s name on his lips.

 

Jared eased out and dropped to one side, boneless, in awe of what his body just went through, completely unable to form rational thought or speech.

 

“I love you Jared Padalecki…” Jensen said clearly, his eyes shut “… and if you wanna give this thing a try then I am so there with you”

 

”Oh yeah, I really wanna give this thing more than a try, I want to give you everything”

 

“You forgot something”

 

“Wha?”

 

”Three little words”

 

“I’m feeling hungry?”

 

“Jared”

 

“Jeez man, I love you OK? I mean how many times have I told you now”

 

“Say it again”

 

”I love you Jensen Ackles”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

**Two years later**

 

The delivery came via Jackles Supplies and a very smiley Jensen. Jared bounced the last few feet on the dock and pulled Jensen into a full Padalecki hug.

 

“I missed you man”

 

“I’ve only been gone a week”

 

”Shit man that is too long”

 

“I’ve got something for you”

 

“A present? Cool what is it?”

 

”Jeez, you’re like a kid at Christmas” Jensen laughed as Jared pouted. He reached back into the plane, grabbing a box and passing it to Jared. Jared looked at the stamp on the box, the publishing company.

 

“Shit Jensen”

 

”Open it up, let’s see it Mr Author”

 

“I can’t, I can’t look”

 

“You can Jared, just open it up” So he did, he opened the box, lifted out the hard back book, his hands shaking. 

 

In his hands, his first ever book, accepted and published anonymously. No using the family name. No using his money. All his own work ...

**Crashing Planes**

**by**

**J Padackles**

THE END 


End file.
